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Jordan, Gohmert, Collins Smugly Confident They’ve Convinced America to Impeach Hunter Biden
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- "We did it, guys. We really fuckin' did it," Congressman Matt Gaetz told reporters, turning to give his fellow House Judiciary...
Matt Gaetz Blew a .28 on Breathalyzer Right Before Bringing Up Hunter Biden Driving...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the House Judiciary Committee debated the two articles of impeachment they intend to put to the full House of...
Pat Robertson Reminds Christians They’ll Go To Hell for Loving Baby Yoda and Baby...
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has a stern warning for Christians who also consider themselves fans of the Star Wars franchise not to invest...
Country’s Largest Turd Seeks Nationwide Toilet Investigation
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The biggest, smelliest, and dumbest fecal-human hybrid in the country wants the FBI, CIA, and local police organizations throughout America to...
Craven, Gold Digging, Racist Birther Vehemently Defends Meal Ticket Her Husband Barely Acknowledges
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A craven, cynical, gold digging, racist birther took to Twitter yesterday to forcefully defend her meal ticket from a harmless pun,...
Nunes, Jordan Unsure Vindman’s Purple Heart as Patriotic as Their Orange Lips
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressmen Gym Jordan and Devin Nunes, Republicans, are perhaps President Donald Trump's most ardent, forceful, and frequent defenders. In radio interviews...
Clinton Circling Roger Stone’s Court Proceeding Shouting “Gonna Lock Him Up!”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and her late model sedan have made yet another surprise appearance, this time outside...
POLL: Fucking Seriously?, No, Hillary. Don’t.
A new poll of just about everyone everywhere shows a striking result: Fucking seriously, no, Hillary. Don't.
It would appear that, at least according to...
Obama Releases List of States That Have Legally Barred Him From Running Charities
SECRET COMMUNIST SHARIA BUNKER, KENYA -- Former President Barack Hussein Obama has, for the most part, not weighed in on American politics since leaving...
Man Strikes First Blow in War on Christmas Putting Up His Lights on Halloween
CENTRAL VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Inspired by President Donald Trump's repeated rhetoric, including a 2017 speech at the Value Voters Summit yesterday, Kevin Palumbo went...
