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Failing Capitalist State Still Struggling to Provide Heat and Power to Millions
THE CAPITALIST REPUBLIC OF TEXAS -- In the failed capitalist state of Texas, millions of people are still without power and heat, as officials...
Trump Promised Rally Crowd: MAGA Will ‘Avenge General Lee and Actually Win the Next...
CONROE, TEXAS -- This weekend, one-term, twice permanently impeached, defeated former President Don Trump held a klanpaign rally in Texas, and he gave the...
Stupidfuck Promises to Pardon Dumbfucks Who Attempted Idiotic Coup on His Behalf
This weekend, a defeated former president and confirmed stupidfuck -- who has yet to win the popular vote in any election he's entered --...
NY Attorney General: Eric Trump Pleaded the Fifth When Asked to Spell His Name
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Overnight, the New York Attorney General announced that she had found significant evidence the Trump Organization perpetrated a massive,...
Rand Paul Tried to Filibuster Sunrise on MLK Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, Sen. Rand Paul (Q-KY) stood on the Senate floor and attempted to forestall the beginning of Martin Luther King...
America’s Favorite Republicans Ranked from Manchin to Sinema
The Republican Party has quite a few elected officials that can only be described with terms like "beloved," or "popular." Who wouldn't love a...
Gaetz’ Girlfriend Skipped Driver’s Ed Class to Testify Before Grand Jury
This week, a former girlfriend of Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) testified before a grand jury. Several legal experts have noted that this could spell...
Tucker Carlson Will Only Spend Angelou Quarters Once He Spends the Ones with White...
Fox News host and trust fund white supremacist Tucker Carlson inherited wealth that equates to, as one economist once described it, a "shitload of...
Fauci to Paul: “In My Non Self-Certified Medical Opinion, You’re a Bitch-Ass Lying Traitor”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After two years of the global COVID-19 pandemic and the federal government's response to it, one thing is certain -- there...
Pro-Life Republican Can’t Wait to Get His Picture Taken With Double Murderer
SHITDICK FLATS, ILLINOIS -- 42 year old non-union, out of work carpenter Marcus Palumbozo uses three terms to describe his views and opinions.
"Pro-life, Pro-God,...
