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Donald Trump Jr. To Undergo Plastic Surgery For ‘Chronic Jizz Face’
Donald Trump Jr has a rare but horrifying condition that he has reportedly agreed to undergo a new plastic surgery procedure to remedy.
President Trump Asks if He Can Command Navy With Battleship Board Game Instead
After seeming to lose track of where the USS Carl Vinson was actually heading, President Trump has asked if he can direct the navy in a new way.
Trump Pledges to ‘Buy American Wives and Hire American Prostitutes’ From Now On
Apparently, Mr. Trump believes that "Buy American, Hire Americans" should pertain to everyone and every occupation and industry.
Second Lady Nudges Him Again, But President Trump Remains an ‘Orange, Tiny-Handed, Oligarchic Shit...
After seeing Second Lady Melania nudge President Trump to get him to do something, his staff hatches a plan to curb some of his behavior.
Trump Demands He Get to Try On Queen Elizabeth’s ‘Jewely Thingy’ During UK Visit
Co-President Donald Trump will be visiting the United Kingdom soon, and as such he has some rather kingly demands of his hosts.
Trump Honors Jackie Robinson by Congratulating Himself for Breaking the Presidency’s “Orange Color Barrier”
On Jackie Robinson Day, President Donald Trump honors the civil rights and baseball icon in his own unique, narcissistic way.
Forlorn President Trump Realizes He Hasn’t ‘Grabbed a Single Puss’ Since Being Sworn In
President Trump is finding out the hard way that even though he's the most powerful man in the free world, some things have changed forever.
Kushner Begs Ben Carson to Perform Frankenstein Surgery on Trump, Make Him a Smarter...
Jared Kushner is desperate to help smarten up his father-in-law and has decided to enlist the HUD Secretary to do so.
Senate Dems Float Bill to Make Public Fantasizing About Incest an Impeachable Offense
A new bill proposed by Senate Democrats would make having dirty, nasty, gross, horrific sexual thoughts about your own daughter Impeachable.
Defiant Trump Says He Doesn’t Have a Doctrine Because He’s Not Licensed to Practice...
Without a license to practice medicine in any state, President Donald J. Trump is angry and confused why he keeps getting asked about his "doctrine."
