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Trump Says Democrats Want ‘Unlimited Post-Arousal Abortions’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump had a relatively convivial relationship with Congress for the first two years of his presidency, however the shellacking...
Trump Names David Avocado Wolfe Wind Cancer Czar
WASHINGTON. D.C. -- President Donald Trump recently attacked wind-based energy production in part because the turbines necessary kill a lot of birds and the...
Obama Offers Trump His Birth Certificate in Exchange for Mueller Report
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a truly unforeseen development,the battle over releasing FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller's report on the 2016 presidential election has taken...
All 56 Mexican Countries Reaffirm Commitment to Never Pay for Trump’s Wall
A letter has been delivered to President Donald J. Trump at the White House, sent from from all 56 Mexican countries.
"We, the people of...
Trump Promises To Disband NASA If They Don’t Bring Back Cheese From New Moon...
"Trust me on this just like you trusted me that Trump Steaks were real cow and not chunks of Mike Huckabee's ass."
Anonymous White House Staffer Says President Concerned First Lady ‘Only Blows Sometimes’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An anonymous, extremely highly placed contact within the Donald Trump administration has indicated that there is growing unease between the president...
Trump Has Taco Bell Delivered to Migrant Families Detained Under Bridge in El Paso...
EL PASO, TEXAS -- President Donald Trump issued an executive order from his Oval Office chair late this afternoon, directing federal resources be dedicated...
White Nationalism Ban Briefly Brings Down President’s Facebook Page
SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- This week, Facebook announced sweeping new policy changes in an effort to curb the use of their platform by purveyors...
Barr Says Mueller Report Exonerates Trump for Saying Mexico Would Pay for Border Wall
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General Barr is not done exonerating President Donald Trump based on the highly-anticipated report from FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller.
"This...
Trump Replaces Entire Cabinet With Hosts of “Fox & Friends”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a development sure to send shock waves through government, President Donald Trump made the turn to the back nine holes...
