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Steven Seagal Looking Forward To Piss Whores
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Former alleged actor and martial artist Steven Seagal will be the next President of the United States of America. Or, at...
Trump’s Lawyers Release List of Questions They’ll Allow Mueller To Ask Their Client
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's no secret on the Hill that Special Counsel Robert Mueller has been attempting to secure an interview with President Donald...
Lebron James Forms 2020 Election Committee With Slogan: “Real Billionaire, Real President, Real Results”
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LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA -- NBA star Lebron James is considering a run for president in 2020, according to several sources...
Barack Obama: “I Bet That Punk Ass Beta Cuck Male Stephen Miller Can’t Hold...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, NBC News reported that White House Senior Policy Adviser, and Transylvania's most eligible but least desirable bachelor, Stephen Miller,...
West Hollywood Offers Trump’s Walk of Fame Star to Lebron James
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WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA -- The West Hollywood City Council has voted unanimously to offer the spot on their world famous...
Software Company Develops Real-Time App To Alert Viewers When Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Lying
SWILLY CORN, VALLEY -- A software development company has released a new application they say can detect when White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee...
Putin: “I’m Glad I Didn’t Have To Show Picture ID To Buy The Presidency”
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Russian and/or American President Vladimir Putin was overheard today speaking to his inner circle about comments made by one of his...
Trump Asks Ivanka If She’s ‘Into Bigfoot or Hopefully Small Hand’ Erotica
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In Virginia, a man named Denver Riggleman is running for Congress, and his opponent has unearthed the fact that he is...
Gleeful Giluliani Tells Reporters He’s Enjoying ‘Really 9/11-ing Up’ Trump’s Case
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This weekend Rudy Giuliani, the former New York City Mayor -- and current attorney representing President Donald Trump in...
Kimberly Guilfoyle: “Fox News Prepared Me Perfectly To Be Surrounded By Dicks No One...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Kim Guilfoyle used to be one of Fox News' hottest commodities; these days however, she's locked in a bitter...
