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Mexico Agrees to Pay For Stephen Miller’s Hair Plugs

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MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador dropped what could be a bombshell announcement on the world today, partially reversing a policy...

Fox News Worried About Integrity of Trump’s “Worldwide News Network”

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- During a conference call with shareholders this morning, a Fox News executive expressed concerns about a new "worldwide news...

Steven Seagal Looking Forward To Piss Whores

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MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Former alleged actor and martial artist Steven Seagal will be the next President of the United States of America. Or, at...

Local Trumper Shocks Town When He Demands They Take Down Statue Of Robert E....

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HOBART, ARKSANSAS -- Clem O'Connell loves American history, and he considers himself a "foreskin scholar" on the subject. "I've been learned by all the best...

Trump Admits He’s Just Jealous of the Size of Lebron James’ Bank Account

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last Friday, Donald Trump -- the most powerful man in the world when Vladimir Putin lets him be -- lashed out at...

White House Experienced Temporary Loss of White Power During Trump’s Helsinki Backpedal

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBwIX4ypQjM WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During yesterday's quickly assembled meeting at the White House, President Trump backpedaled on statements he made at a joint press conference...

Trump Backtracks Backtrack: “I Meant To Say I Saw No Reason It Would Wouldn’t...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the second time in as many days, President Donald Trump backtracked on a statement he made regarding Russia's culpability for...

Hillary Clinton Apologizes For Meeting With Russian Agent During 2016 Election

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has issued a formal apology to the people of the United States of...

Obama: ‘Has Trump Ever Proven His Presidency Wasn’t Born in Russia?’

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SECRET BUNKER, COUNTRY OF ISLAM -- Former President Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya) gave an interview to a radio station in Washington, D.C. in the...

Trump Threatens To Send Queen of England ‘Declaration of More Independence’ Because of ‘Unforgivable’...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Decades-long relationships between the United States and its strongest European allies are being tested on President Donald Trump's current international trip,...