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Clinton Hopes to Emotionally Blackmail Trump Into Changing His Tone Too

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Hillary Clinton has a unique idea for curbing Donald Trump's tone.

Ted Cruz: As President, If Anyone is Mean to Me, I’ll Just Walk Out...

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Ted Cruz "joked" about walking out on the Fox News debate, but would he walk out on tough international dealings?

Kimberly Guilfoyle: “Fox News Prepared Me Perfectly To Be Surrounded By Dicks No One...

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Kim Guilfoyle used to be one of Fox News' hottest commodities; these days however, she's locked in a bitter...

Trump Left “Upper Decker” In Conference Hall Bathroom After Departing NATO Summit

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BRUSSELS, BELGIUM -- Reports are coming in that President Donald Trump left behind a "very special, very smelly present" for leaders of the other...

Santa Claus Apologizes For Trump Of Coal He Put In Entire World’s Stockings Last...

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HIGH ABOVE PLANET EARTH -- The world is a very big place, and when your primary job in it is to deliver toys and...

Jeff Sessions Says He ‘Can’t Recall’ What Recusal Means

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, Attorney General Jeff Keebler Sessions ordered the Department of Justice to take yet another look at a 2010 deal...

Pentagon UFO Program Makes Trump Demand Wall Be 70 Miles High

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump broke his silence on the Pentagon's top secret, multi-billion dollar mission to investigate UFOs this morning. Last week, The New...

McDonald’s Introduces the McManafort Nothingburger, Which Is Huge and Served With Russian Dressing

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OAK BROOK, ILLINOIS -- In order to capitalize on the buzz swirling around the American political landscape, the world's second largest fast food chain...

President Hillary Clinton Divulges Secrets to Russians, Congressional Republicans Cool With It

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In a closed door meeting with Russian envoys, President Hillary Clinton gave away intelligence but Republicans are really totes cool with it.

Trump Says He’s “Disappointed and Offended” He Wasn’t Asked To Be In “It”...

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Co-President Donald Trump is extremely upset that no one in Communist Hollywood asked him to be in the new "It" remake.