This week, Daily Caller columnist and podcaster Matt Walsh — a devout evangelical Christian conservative — appeared on The Dr. Phil Show and got into a heated exchange with transgender rights activists, including two transgender women.
Walsh repeatedly asserted that the women on the show were actually men. At one point, Walsh told them they were wearing a “costume” of being a female. Walsh also accused the women of setting the progress of biological females back.
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Some might find it shocking or disturbing how confrontational Walsh was. Others might worry that his judgmental attitude was distinctly not Christian in tone or demeanor. Still others might wonder why Walsh spends so much time thinking about other people’s genitals.
Well, the answer to that question is simple, as it turns out: Matt Walsh thinks deeply and intently about everyone’s genitals. Even yours. Because that’s what Jesus did.
Recall the Sermon on the Mount, in which Christ lays out why he thinks so much about other people’s junk.
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“I tell you now, blessed are they who stick rigidly to social constructs of gender, and tie them directly to the sex organ between their thighs. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of social equality, I will focus, with laser like attention — despite not knowing what a ‘laser’ is — on your crotch zone. For thine is the pee-pee or contra-pee-pee I need to know about most.”
On his podcast today, Walsh further defended himself from accusations of transphobia and continued to point to the Bible, and Jesus Christ specifically, for justification of his behavior and viewpoints.
“Jesus had twelve disciples for a reason, and that’s because he wanted to have a good amount of hoo-hoo-dillies and fruit baskets to focus on to occupy his mind all day long, just like me,” Walsh whined. “But even if that weren’t the case, I would have to wonder one thing. Why would Jesus invent pants and hide everyone’s genitals under them if he didn’t want me to fixate on them? Guess what? I’m thinking about your genitals right now, everyone, and you cannot stop me!”
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.
