Fauci Says He’s Never Heard of a Virology Lab in Any Crossfit Gym

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Freshman Congresshorse Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) wants Americans to ignore the advice of Dr. Anthony Fauci and instead listen to her. Her rationale is that, as a gym owner, she can advise Americans how to live healthier lives better than a man who has spent his entire life studying infectious diseases, though he’s said recently that his interactions with certain pro-MAGA politicians over the last year and half have made him “realize there are lot more infectious diseases out there” than he’d previously understood.

Yesterday, Greene went off on the notion of the White House forming a task force to go into areas with low COVID-19 vaccination rates and knock on doors, encouraging people to consider getting vaccinated. Greene, who visited the National Holocaust Memorial last month to take heat off herself after she compared mask requirements to the Holocaust, once more blasted the Biden administration and compared door-to-door vaccination drives to Nazi “brown shirts.”

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In an interview on CNN, White House Secretary Jen Psaki batted away Greene’s criticisms, saying the administration wouldn’t take medical advice from Greene. This clearly got Greene’s dander up, and in a screed posted to both Twitter and Facebook, Rep. Greene said her gym ownership means President Biden should be going to her for medical advice.

In an interview on “Good Morning, America,” Dr. Fauci did his best to sidestep any political drama, but did splash some cold water on the idea of Greene being an expert in the field of diseases.

“I’m sure that if I wanted some advice on doing a sit-up or pull-up exercise, or even secret Jewish space lasers, Congresshorse Greene would be a quite suitable source of information,” Fauci said. “However, I have not personally visited or even heard of any virology labs in Crossfit gyms. So, it seems like, and I don’t want to be too harsh here, that taking advice from Ms. Greene on the subject of keeping yourself free from infection would be, well, medically speaking, quite fucking stupid.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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