Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Jr. Informs NY Attorney General He Intends to Plead ‘Stupidity’

LAGO DE IDIOTA, FLORIDA -- Historians may debate which president was...

This Doughy Coward Wouldn’t Defend His Wife’s Looks But Has Thoughts on Macho Soldiers

When one envisions Senator Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun), they don't exactly conjure...

Walking, Talking BM Trash Talks BLM

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A walking, talking bowel movement took to the...

Ivanka to New York Attorney General: “Daddy Doesn’t Need More Reasons to Roll Over On Me!”

LAKE VAPID, FLORIDA -- When New York Attorney General Letitia James...

8 out of 10 Klan Members Think Tucker Carlson’s a Little Too Proud of His Racism

A new poll in Crosslight Monthly, a magazine written by and for members...

South Carolina Lets Death Row Inmates Choose Execution by Spending Five Minutes With Ted Cruz

COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA -- In the Palmetto State, it's become quite...

TX Governor Signs Law Affirming Life Begins at Erection

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Gov. Greg Abbott (Q-TX) signed a law today...

Read Donald Trump’s Full Statement on the New York AG’s Criminal Investigation of His Family

While he can't post it on Twitter himself, former President Donald...