Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...
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Totally Bulls*it News

McConnell: Legislating Vaginae Takes Precedence Over Ending Slavery

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has vowed to stall Loretta Lynch's confirmation as Attorney General over Democrats' hardline stance on anti-abortion language in another bill.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

House GOP Gives New ‘Scandal’ Official Title: Hillmailghazigate

Hillary Clinton's emails will now be the subject of an official Republican-branded scandal investigation.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Rudy Giuliani Says Darth Vader Should Be Commended for Hunting Down, Murdering Jedi

Rudy Giuliani believes in the rule of law so much he doesn't care if officers break it.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Authorities Considering Charges Against Darren Wilson for Killing Ferguson PD’s Racket

Ferguson PD wants to file charges against former Officer Darren Wilson for "killing" their racket.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

House Republicans To Sneak Giving Obama ‘Brown Musket’ Into Jobs Bill

Will House Republicans get language inserted in a jobs bill allowing them to blow dirty wind in Obama's face whenever they want?
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

NSA Employee Laughs His Balls Off at Hillary Clinton Email ‘Scandal’

One NSA employee tells The Chute why he doesn't consider the Hillary Clinton email scandal a real scandal.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

GOP Senators Want to Frack Dwarf Planet Ceres Now That NASA Has Orbited It

NASA has orbited a dwarf planet, which means two Republicans are ready to claim the planet for America and to plunder it for whatever resources it holds.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Senate Republicans Vow to ‘Punch Iran in the Dick’ Once Obama Leaves Office

Republicans in the Senate not only want to sabotage the U.S.-Iran nuclear negotiations, they want to punch Iran in the dick after Obama leaves.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Florida Officials Can No Longer Use The Words ‘Climate Change,’ ‘Scientifically Illiterate,’ ‘Fucking Morons’

It's not just "climate change" that Florida's government employees can't say anymore.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Election Watch: KY GOP ‘Totes Cool’ With Rand Paul Embarrassing Himself in 2016

Rand Paul has convinced Republican leadership in his state to front a plan that would allow him to run for both President and the Senate.
James Schlarmann -
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