Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

West Virginia Republican Says Rape Pregnancies Are ‘God Putting One In You’

Are rape pregnancies terrible? According to human beings with compassion and empathy, yes. According to some Republicans? Maybe not so much.

Report: Texas Republicans Want to Draft Anti-ObamaVaxx Bill

Are Texas Republicans going to force their state to take a stand against Obama's mandatory vaccinations, even if they don't exist in reality?

“Why I Should Be Elected President in 2016” by Scott Walker

Why does Scott Walker want to be president? Did we ask him ourselves?

22-Year-Old College Libertarian: Socialism is Bad, Now Give Me My Pell Grant So I Can Take the Highway to the State University I Attend

A local young libertarian explains why taxes are theft, socialism is evil, and why neither of those things mean he's a hypocrite for getting government grants and going to a publicly funded universty.

House Republicans To Propose ‘Sperm and Egg Production’ Bill

Forget abortion. Does one Congressman want to make pulling your pud illegal?

“Why I Should Be President” by Jeb Bush

Jeb Bush explains why he should be president after next year's election.

Paul Ryan: Lowering Minimum Wage to $0 an Hour Will Get 0% Unemployment

Speaker Paul Ryan has a radical new theory for how to encourage full employment -- completely eliminating the minimum wage.

“Why I’m Not Running for President in 2016 After All” by Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney explains his decision to not run for president.

John Boehner to Sue Obama for ‘President-ing While Not Republican’

John Boehner hates presidential overreach, unless it's done in the right way, by a Republican president.

Trey Gowdy Disappointed Chanting ‘Benghazi’ Three Times Doesn’t Make Hillary Clinton Appear

Trey Gowdy took time away from his Hogwarts class reunion to talk about his Benghazi probe.