Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

5 Reasons House Republicans Want To Shut The Government Down

So just why DOES the House GOP want to shut the government down?

“5 NEW Benghazi Conspiracy Theories” by Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)

No stand down order? No problem. Louie Gohmert's got five more Benghazi theories for you.

“My 5 Favorite iPhone Games” by Sen. John McCain

A leaked guest article from John McCain for a conservative tech magazine gives us more insight into America's favorite stodgy war monger.

5 Things You Can Thank Union Thugs For

5 reasons union thugs don't suck at all.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher: “Earth’s Round Shape Totally Bogus”

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher proves his scientific intellect for the masses.

House GOP To De-Fund The North Pole

House Republicans are moving to de-fund Kris Kringle.

5 Reasons You Give a Shit What Mitt Romney Thinks About Obama’s Second Term

Mitt Romney recently made some comments about Obama's second term, presuming that anyone cares. Spoiler alert: We don't.

8 Reasons Why Ted Cruz NEEDS To Run For President In 2016

Ted Cruz really must love us. He's already talking about a 2016 presidential bid.

5 “Facts” The George W. Bush Library Will Lay Out

Former President George W. Bush says his new library will be a "place to lay out facts," but what facts exactly is he speaking about? We try to answer that.

5 Problems Whose Solutions Are Also “America!”

Maybe Marco Rubio isn't so naive after all.