Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

How One Man’s Straight Marriage Was Totally Ruined By Gay Marriage

One man's harrowing ordeal, losing his straight marriage to gay marriage.

Scott Walker Worried He’s Not ‘Coming Off Dumb Enough’ For GOP Voters

Is Scott Walker coming off as dumb enough for the GOP base? Only time will tell.

Teary-Eyed Donald Trump Finally Realizes Whole World Hates Him

Last week, 2016 Republican Presidential Hopeful #3,215 -- known also as...

U.S. Takes Break From Thumping Its Chest to Slap Itself On Back – With Fireworks!

The Fourth f July is the day of the year that America stops thumping its chest long enough to slap itself on its back for a "job well done" in democracy.

Obama Gun Confiscation Count: Week #414

The Obama Gun Grab just keeps rolling on and on. See how many guns he snatched up this week here.

Massive Crowd Greets Man Who Has Absolutely No Chance of Winning Presidency

MADISON, WISCONSIN -- While it is undeniable fact that unless one...

Country Ignores Burning Black Churches For Consistency’s Sake

What is going on with the rash of black churches burning recently? Don't ask most Americans.

LA Gay Couple Prepared To Be Blamed for All Natural Disasters ‘From Here On Out’

This gay couple is ready to be blamed for everything under the sun, unless that explodes too, in the wake of the SCOTUS gay marriage ruling.

Republicans Turn Off All Lights Outside Congress In Support Of The Dark Ages

In response to a rainbow White House, Republicans have turned the rotunda dark.

Obama Gun Confiscation Count: Week #413

When will Obama stop this reign of terror?!