Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Koch Brothers Hastily Trying to Stuff Deflated Scott Walker With Hundred Dollar Bills

Scott Walker is fading in the polls, and literally losing hot air daily, so the Koch brothers have a plan for that.

Trump Builds Giant Wall Around Press Conference to Keep Jorge Ramos Out

How badly does Donald Trump want to keep Jorge Ramos out of his press conferences?

FL Gun Range To Start Using Human Targets

A gun range in Florida will start serving booze to its customers. It was only a matter of time before a gun range one-upped them.

Christ To Pat Robertson: ‘No, The Stock Drop Was Punishment For Listening to False Prophets’

Pat Robertson told viewers of his show that the stock market tumbling was God's wrath in action, God's son disagrees.

Jesus Christ: ‘Hey Republicans I Love ALL The Children of the World, Remember?’

Jesus Christ weighs in on "anchor babies" and immigration reform.

Scott Walker Is Very Confused About ‘Everything’

From birthright citizenship to climate change to Obama's love of America, Scott Walker is very confused.

Republican Religious Zealot Not Sure How to Feel About ‘Anchor Fetuses’

One women in Oklahoma struggles with how to square her religious furor over abortion with her xenophobia.

Bobby Jindal Proposes ‘Separate But Equal’ Birthright Citizenship

"In the proposal, Governor Jindal makes it very clear that these new citizens would only get access to six of the ten amendments in the Bill of Rights."