Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Politicians Who Won’t Let Us Forget 9/11 Can’t Remember to Care About 9/11 First Responders

9/11 First Responders? Who are they? What do they need anyway?

Texas High School Suspends 14-Year Old Student Because All the Adults Were ‘F***ing Idiots’

When young Ahmed Mohamed brought his homemade clock to school, he might have forgotten what state he lives in.

5 Predictions for Tonight’s GOP Debate You Can Take to the Bank

Will Trump show off his new tattoo, or will Scott Walker dance a jig?

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #346

Obama's Gun Confiscation marches on and on and on and on...

Poll Shows Ted Cruz, Rand Paul Have Dropped Out But Just Don’t Know It Yet

Ted Cruz and Rand Paul may not like the results of polling analysis contained in the article.

Victorian Age Dildo Offers to Sub-In for Scott Walker as Governor

Scott Walker could get some relief from an unexpected party.

Inanimate Rock Challenges Scott Walker to Debate on Foreign Policy

One rock feels he could clean Scott Walker's clock in a debate about foreign policy.

Wild-Eyed Socialist Proposes Crazy Idea to Conservative College Crowd: Compromise

Some crazy guy visited a hardcore conservative Bible college and had the balls to suggest Americans should set aside their differences and work together.