Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Chris Christie in New Hampshire: ‘I Give a Shit Where Kids Shit’

Chris Christie has an opinion about where kids relieve themselves, and he's not afraid to make it known.

Las Vegas AAA Chapter: You Stop a Bad Guy in a Car With a Good Guy in a Car

After a tragic Las Vegas crash involving a potentially under the influence driver, AAA will start lobbying for FEWER traffic and car-related laws.

Confused Lindsey Graham Staffer Didn’t Know Campaign Was Still Going

FLAT GROVE, SOUTH CAROLINA -- When Lincoln McTavish got word that...

Gun Nut Gets Alcohol Poisoning Trying to Sober Up With Gin

A gun nut tries to outsmart his body by sobering up with more alcohol.

Agrabah Preemptively Strikes Pearl Harbor

After nearly 50% of poll respondents said they'd support a U.S. bombing campaign there, Agrabah launches its own assault on America.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #358

A running tally of Obama's gun confiscation.

Wayne LaPierre Leaves His Wife for His Trusty Rifle

Wayne LaPierre is moving on after years of marriage.

Ben Carson’s Reaction to “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”: Where’s Spock and the TARDIS?

Ben Carson liked the new "Star Wars" film, but felt it was missing a couple key characters.

Sleepy-Eyed Ben Carson Shows Up Two Days Late for CNN Debate

You might have thought you saw Ben Carson at the CNN debate, but your eyes may have been fooling you.

Donald Trump Unveils Plans “Camp Trump” for Muslim Americans

Donald Trump wants to build a "special" camp for Muslim Americans.