Totally Bulls*it News

Greenlander Would Rather Not Lose Universal Healthcare to Join “Shit Hole” Country

"Why would we want to join a shit hole country that doesn't even give us basic human health services like every other developed nation?" When...

Ted Cruz Challenges Donald Trump To No Holds Barred ‘Battle of the A-Holes’

Who's the bigger a-hole -- Ted Cruz or Donald Trump? Cruz wants to find out.

5 Other Things Republicans Would Not Have Applauded or Stood For During the SOTU

Republicans hated the State of the Union speech with all its talk of not being treating people like crap and whatnot.

Facebook Libertarian: Obama’s SOTU Divided Us All By Bringing Up Things I Personally Don’t Like

Did you know Obama's SOTU was very divisive because he spoke about things that the majority of Americans want fixed?

Trey Gowdy: Open Mindedness and Tolerance Don’t Deserve a Standing Ovation

Trey Gowdy hated Obama's last State of the Union because the president dared to imply we shouldn't be a country of racists.

Paul Ryan Says He Practiced ‘Smug, Punchable’ Face for Weeks Before SOTU

Speaker Paul Ryan reportedly practiced his SOTU facial expressions or weeks.

Nation Prepares to ‘Give a F**k’ About New New Hampshirite Political Opinions

The New Hampshire primaries are in full-swing, which means the nation is pretending to care about the Granite State.

The 3 Biggest Surprise Guests at Obama’s Last State of the Union

Obama's last State of the Union is sure to be historical, and some of the invited guests show just how important an event it is.

Sad Libertarian Doesn’t Get Why His Unpopular Candidate With Unpopular Ideas Was Dropped From Debate

When Rand Paul was kicked off the adult debate stage, that was enough to enrage one libertarian Facebook admin to the point of screed writing.

4 Things Your Republican Uncle Will Hear President Obama Say in His Final State of the Union Address

In his final State of the Union address, we promise that Obama will say all of these things, or at least your uncle will think so.

Atheist Alabama Judge to State’s Chief Justice: I Can’t Find God’s Signature on the Constitution

Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore has an interesting theory as to why he should get to keep gay people unmarried in his state, but one other Alabama judge disagrees.