Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Just Ordered Epstein Island Relocated to Gulf of America

"...we can just hook up a couple bungee cords to the island, then tie those to one of our, you know, big ship thingies...

Toddler NRA Member: Who the hell is Obama to say I shouldn’t have a gun?

One little boy is really mad that Obama thinks he's not ready to handle a firearm.

GOP Congressman Wants to Investigate Connection Between Benghazi, Planned Parenthood

After voting to de-fund Planned Parenthood, one congressman thinks there might be a connection to it and Benghazi worth investigating.

5 Reasons I’m Pretty Sure Ted Cruz’s Dick Smells Like Fried Snack Pies

I'm pretty sure Ted Cruz has a thing for fried pies. A gross thing.

Town Conservative Outraged Obama Did Bare Minimum on Guns

President Obama issued rather mild executive orders on guns, which has upset one gun owner immensely.

After President’s Gun Control Speech, Confused Conservative Hands Guns Over to Obama

One man hands Obama his guns after misunderstanding the president's executive orders on gun measures.

Wayne LaPierre Sends Care Package of Cookies, Guns, Ammo to Oregon Militia Squatters

NRA executive Wayne LaPierre sends a special package to the Oregon Militia occupying a bird observatory.

Oregon Militia Squatter Awarded Purple Heart for Stubbing Toe on Fridge

One man in the Oregon Militia occupying a federal building has been awarded the Purple Heart by his fellow militiamen.

NRA: Nation’s Guns Feeling ‘Confused and Upset’ Over Obama Executive Orders

Obama Executive Orders have a tendency to bring out the most rational of thought from right-wingers.

Feds Deem Burns Building Takeover ‘Sexual Assault’

A federal building takeover in Burns, Oregon is being given an eyebrow raising classification by government officials.