Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Just Ordered Epstein Island Relocated to Gulf of America

"...we can just hook up a couple bungee cords to the island, then tie those to one of our, you know, big ship thingies...

Sad Libertarian Doesn’t Get Why His Unpopular Candidate With Unpopular Ideas Was Dropped From Debate

When Rand Paul was kicked off the adult debate stage, that was enough to enrage one libertarian Facebook admin to the point of screed writing.

4 Things Your Republican Uncle Will Hear President Obama Say in His Final State of the Union Address

In his final State of the Union address, we promise that Obama will say all of these things, or at least your uncle will think so.

Atheist Alabama Judge to State’s Chief Justice: I Can’t Find God’s Signature on the Constitution

Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore has an interesting theory as to why he should get to keep gay people unmarried in his state, but one other Alabama judge disagrees.

Shooting Incident Survivor Admits Getting Shot ‘No Biggie’ Since He Didn’t Die

Can someone really claim to be a "shooting victim" if they were only shot, but not killed?

Texas Gov. Abbott Asks for ‘Mulligan’ on The Constitution

Greg Abbot, Governor of Texas, is tired of those fancy-pants judges telling Americans they have the same rights as other Americans.

Anti-Vaxxer Outraged Mark Zuckerberg and His Wife ‘Listened to Common Sense and Science’

One man is incensed at Mark Zuckerberg for protecting his daughter against life-threatening disease.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #361 – Executive Order Edition

Obama's Gun Confiscation count, tabulated especially after his new gun control executive orders.

3 Recipes From Gov. Rick Snyder’s Charity Cookbook of After School Snacks

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder has a new charity recipe book out.

Wayne LaPierre Gets Choked Up About Guns Not Sold After Failed Background Checks

NRA Vice-President Wayne LaPierre emotes about gun sales.

U.S. Capitalist Economy, Pummeled by Obama’s Communism, Gains 290k+ Jobs in December

The December 2015 Jobs report is out, and it has Republicans worried that Obama's communism will never be contained.