Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #364

Obama's Gun Confiscation knows no bounds nor limits!

Michele Bachmann Endorses Ronald Reagan For President

Michele Bachmann has announced her support for a rather surprising presidential candidate.

Sarah Palin: Why Does Obama Keep Getting Bristol Pregnant?

Sara Palin is pretty sure the president knocked-up her daughter, but is this the first time?

Super-Rich Guy: He Just Works “Billions of Times Harder Than Poor People”

A billionaire defends the current wealth distribution on the grounds that he works "billions of times" harder than poorer people do.

5 Possible Cabinet Positions for Sarah Palin in President Trump’s Administration

What cabinet role would you give Sarah Palin? Donald Trump may be in the position to consider this question come November.

Ben Carson, Carly Fiorina Agree to Carpool to Rest of Campaign Events

Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina have announced a new partnership.

5 Names Donald Trump Would Give to “Planet 9”

Donald Trump is good at naming stuff, just ask him. So what would he call the newly discovered Planet 9?

Darrell Issa: Benghazi Movie Wouldn’t Have Flopped If They Had Me Write The Script

Darrell Issa is upset he wasn't given a chance to write the Benghazi movie's script, and he says that is why it flopped.

Hillary Clinton Counting on Sanders Supporters to ‘Rally Around’ Her ‘Inevitability’

Hillary Clinton's campaign is hoping that supporters of her rival, Bernie Sanders, will eventually see her "inevitable" status and fall in line.

Sarah Palin’s Trump Endorsement: A Translation for Smart People

Sarah Palin's endorsement of Donald Trump was every bit the rambling incoherent mess you'd expect, so we translated what we could for you.