Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Local Pro-Lifer ‘Loves’ Ted Cruz’s Carpet Bombing Foreign Policy

A pro-life Republican explains why Ted Cruz's foreign policy works for him.

Obama’s Communist Economic Assault Lowers Unemployment Below 5%

Republicans are sure something is afoul because the unemployment rate is the lowest it's been since nearly a year before Obama took office.

Town Republican Confused by Lack of Phobias in Democratic Debate

One Republican's confused reaction to the last Democratic debate.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #366

Will Obama's Gun Confiscation claim your God-given hand cannon?

Islamic American: Marco Rubio Divides Us By Being a Radical Christian

Marco Rubio says Obama divided the country by visiting a mosque, but this Islamic American says it's Rubio that's dividing us.

Trump: Cruz Stole Iowa ‘You Know, Like Mexicans Do’

Donald Trump said Ted Cruz stole Iowa from him because Cruz is a Mexican, which is wrong, but...

Old Lady Politely Refuses Jeb Bush’s Help Across the Street

No one wants or needs Jeb Bush's help these days.

Democratic Voter: Cruz’s Birthplace Doesn’t Matter; His Idiotic Views of the World Do

COLD STONE, NEW HAMPSHIRE -- Cynthia Garrison says she will be...

New Hampshire Republican Torn Between Two A-Holes

He's just not sure who to vote for in the New Hampshire primary.

Sad Libertarian to Investigate Why Candidate No One Voted For is Dropping Out of Race

Rand Paul is quitting and that has this libertarian very upset, and believing in a conspiracy against him.