Totally Bulls*it News

Oh Cool, I’m Blogging About Politics Again. Can Anyone Remember Why?

A long time ago, in a country that feels a million miles away now, I started this stupid little website because as I was...

Marco Rubio Daydreams About Every American’s Sex Lives

Marco Rubio really, really cares about America's sexual morality.

Trump Supporter Can’t Wait to Hear What He Calls a Democrat

One man's support of Donald Trump rests on his continual insulting of other Republicans.

Donald Trump and Ted Cruz Agree to ‘Just Get a Room’

The sexual tension between Ted Cruz and Donald Trump is heating to critical mass.

‘Bummed Out’ Rubio Finds Out AFTER Debate That Obama’s Not Running This Time

Marco Rubio finds out too late Obama's not running this time.

Rubio Robot Engineers Program ‘Horrible Thoughts on Rape’ Into His Cerebral Matrix

Marco Rubio's rhetorical programming gets a fundie-approved update.

Marco Rubio Accidentally Conjures Beetlejuice

Senator Marco Rubio accidentally brought a menace of a ghost to the realm of the living.

Engineers Frantically Adding Five New Talking Points to Marco Rubio’s Programming

Engineers work to cram Marco Rubio's brain full of more talking points.

Local Pro-Lifer ‘Loves’ Ted Cruz’s Carpet Bombing Foreign Policy

A pro-life Republican explains why Ted Cruz's foreign policy works for him.

Obama’s Communist Economic Assault Lowers Unemployment Below 5%

Republicans are sure something is afoul because the unemployment rate is the lowest it's been since nearly a year before Obama took office.

Town Republican Confused by Lack of Phobias in Democratic Debate

One Republican's confused reaction to the last Democratic debate.