Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Report: Ted Cruz Had Victory Meal of Champagne and ‘Nasalcargot’ After WI Victory

Senator Ted Cruz celebrates his Wisconsin Primary victory in style.

Hillary Supporter Calculating How Many Sanders Wins to Take Him Seriously

Bernie Sanders just won another primary, but is that enough to believe he has a shot?

Dean of Wal*Mart School of Law ‘Tremendously Proud’ of Alum Sarah Palin’s New TV Gig

Sarah Palin's new gig has someone from her past quite happy for her.

CEO of Pet Food Company Endorses Paul Ryan for President

Charles Koch and this man want Paul Ryan to be the Republican nominee.

Court Rules Ted Cruz is a Citizen, But Not a Member of the Human Race

A court has declared Ted Cruz a citizen, but not a human one.

Heartbreak! Even After Lobotomy, Republican Voter Unable to Vote for Trump

Even after removing half his brain, one man still can't bring himself to vote for Trump.

Republicans Seethe as Obama’s Communist Assault on Economy Adds 215k New Jobs

America's free market capitalist economy took a barrage of socialist punches this month.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #374

How may of your freedom shooters did Obama's Gun Confiscation abscond with?