Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

While In Target Bathroom, Republican Nervously Wonders If Man Next To Him Was Born With A Penis

Target's inclusive bathroom policy has one conservative freaked out.

DNC’s New “Condescend the Vote” Campaign Aimed at Retaining Sanders Supporters

The DNC is trying a new campaign to keep Sanders supporters if he doesn't win the nomination.

Roosevelt Ghosts Argue Over Who Bernie Sanders is More Like

Two Roosevelt ghosts argue over Bernie Sanders.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #376

How much liberty did Obama's Gun Confiscation cost you this week?

International Arms Dealer Proud of Hillary Clinton’s Bold Stance Against the NRA

Hillary Clinton has a fan in the international arms trade.

NC Man tells harrowing story of having to poop next to someone with unknown genitals

A North Carolina man's account of a traumatic experience he had.

Reince Priebus Desperately Thumbing Through Rolodex for ‘More Preferable Loser’ Alternative to Trump

Reince Priebus is in a scramble to find an alternative to his two frontrunners.

Wisconsin Welfare Recipient Offers to ‘Drug Test All Over’ Scott Walker’s ‘Smug F***Ing Face’

One man is incensed at Scott Walker for pushing to congress to let states drug test welfare recipients

Chick-Fil-A Offers to Move Headquarters to and Build 10,000 New Stores In North Carolina

While many businesses have punished North Carolina for their anti-LGBT law, one is considering something else.