Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Republican Man Buys Gun So He Can Worry About Obama Coming For It

One man bought a gun just so he could worry about Obama grabbing it.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #380

The weekly tally from Obama's Gun Confiscation.

Man Voting for Trump to ‘Piss Off Libtards’ to Give Himself AIDS

A tale of a man who is voting for Trump and giving himself AIDS.

Justice Thomas: MS School Desegregating After Six-Decade Fight ‘Proves Racism Doesn’t Exist Anymore’

A school in Mississippi has lost its 62-year legal battle and is desegregating.

Anne Graham Lotz: God Gives Us Diarrhea Because We ‘Let Trans People Poop in Comfort’

The daughter of Billy Graham has some interesting thoughts on freedom.

Jesus Christ Issues New Commandment: Thou Shalt Just Poop and Get Out, Weirdos

Jesus and his company have a new edict for all their employees.