Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Man Voting for Trump to ‘Piss Off Libtards’ to Give Himself AIDS

A tale of a man who is voting for Trump and giving himself AIDS.

Justice Thomas: MS School Desegregating After Six-Decade Fight ‘Proves Racism Doesn’t Exist Anymore’

A school in Mississippi has lost its 62-year legal battle and is desegregating.

Anne Graham Lotz: God Gives Us Diarrhea Because We ‘Let Trans People Poop in Comfort’

The daughter of Billy Graham has some interesting thoughts on freedom.

Jesus Christ Issues New Commandment: Thou Shalt Just Poop and Get Out, Weirdos

Jesus and his company have a new edict for all their employees.

O.J. Simpson to Auction ‘Just Some Random Knife’

O.J. Simpson is looking to cash in just like George Zimmerman.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #379

The unspeakable toll of Obama's Gun Confiscation.

Louisiana Democrats Propose 72-Hour Waiting Period on Incestuous Sex

Louisiana Democrats are responding to a new anti-abortion law in their state.

Former Cellmate to Auction George Zimmerman’s Prison Dildo

George Zimmerman's jail cellmate wants to cash in too.

Area Klansman ‘Relieved’ He No Longer Has to Choose Between Cruz and Trump

One klansman is super stoked on not having to choose Trump over someone else.