Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Confused Evangelical Christian Takes Newt Gingrich’s Sharia Test And Fails

"I took Newt's proposed Sharia Law test, and the dang thing said I'm a believer in Sharia Law."

Woman Has ‘No Fucking Clue Who This Scott Mayo Guy’ Speaking At The RNC Is

"Who the hell cares what D-List celebrities say about D-List reality-TV stars trying to become president?"

City of Cleveland Reports Dumpster Shortage While Republican Convention Is In town

"All the dumpsters in the world could not contain the cavalcade of confounding conservative craziness and chicanery."

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #388

Did Obama's Gun Confiscation ensnare YOUR freedom cannon this week?

Trump’s Convention Keynote To Be Delivered By Klansman In Tinfoil Hood

"We want our base to know we hear them loud and clear."

Donald Trump To Ask Sarah Palin To Be His VP For The First Half Of His Term

Palin told the press she was "super-duper-hardcore-boo-yah excited."

Trump Says He’d Build A Wall Around The Country Of ‘Islam’ And Make ISIS Pay For It

"To be honest, I don't even know who the prime menstruator or president of Islam is."