Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Mike Lindell Claims to Have Evidence Millions of Americans ‘Wanted Trump to Lose’

Mike Lindell, the embattled CEO of MyPillow and MyCrackpipe, announced on...

Tucker Carlson Will Only Spend Angelou Quarters Once He Spends the Ones with White Guys On Them

Fox News host and trust fund white supremacist Tucker Carlson inherited...

NFL Approves Rule Change Forcing Anti-Vaxxer Players to Remove Their Helmets and Pads

NFL players who are anti-vaccine will be forced to strip off...

Fauci to Paul: “In My Non Self-Certified Medical Opinion, You’re a Bitch-Ass Lying Traitor”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After two years of the global COVID-19 pandemic...

Decades Ago, Doctors Already Figured Out How to Put a Human Heart in a Pig

This week, a modern medical marvel took place. At the University of...

Op-Ed: How Come I Drank Gallons of Trump’s Pee and Still Got COVID?

The following editorial was written and submitted by Congressman Matt Gaetz...

If You Hear Your Uncle Say This Three Word Phrase, Get Him to a Neurologist ASAP!

Knowing the signs of life-threatening medical emergencies can save your life,...

House Janitor Accidentally Flushes Marjorie Taylor Greene Down the Toilet

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Representatives from Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene's office have...