Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Will Ask Congress For Law Mandating He Gets To Take It All With Him

It may easier to thread the eye of the needle than for him to get into heaven, but Trump wants to get his riches through that eye too.

Barack Obama’s Post Presidency To Do List (VIDEO)

The whole world wants to know. What's Barack Obama going to do with all that spare time he's about get back in his life?

Archduke Francis Ferdinand Tells World To Not Worry About Russian Ambassador’s Assassination

Archduke Ferdinand is one man who might have a very unique and interesting, relevant opinion on the murder of a Russian Ambassador in Ankara.

Trump Accuses China Of Being A Chinese Hoax

Is the entire country of China a Chinese Hoax? Does a certain orange-tinted bag of farts think so? Will you click to find out?

Donald Trump’s Christmas Wish List (VIDEO)

Looking to get Donald Trump, or any orange-faced fascist in your life something special for Christmas? Look no further than this list.

Trump Directs NASA To Verify Which Planet Girls Go To When They Get More Stupider

Republicans may not have a reputation for being pro-science, but that doesn't mean Trump won't be taking an active role in NASA's missions.

Dan Quayle Offers Donald Trump Spelling Lessins

Former Vice-President Danforth Quayle has reached out and offered Donald Trump spelling lessons because he thinks Trump needs them bigly.

Republican State Rep: ‘Get Over It, Democrats, Like We Republicans Always Do!’ (VIDEO)

One Republican believes that Democrats have been far, far too whiny after Trump was elected, and he wants them to behave like Republicans.

Putin Asks Trump To Oversee Final Construction Of Large Battle Station In First Hundred Days

Russian President Vladimir Putin has reprotedly reached out to President-Elect Donald Trump to personally oversee a construction project.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #409

A weekly chronicling of all the glorious liberty lobbers wrangled-up in President Obama's infamous gun confiscation efforts.