Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

“5 Reasons The Religious Right Loves Donald Trump”

Why would the Religious Right, a pious and moral group, vote for an amoral sleaze bucket like Donald Trump? We found some reasons.

Obama To Rename Affordable Care Act “Trumpcare” By Executive Order

President Obama is banking on Republicans hating TrumpCare a lot less than they hate the Affordable Care Act, but will it work?

Bill O’Reilly Offers To Give Megyn Kelly A Goodbye Grope ‘In Honor Of Roger Ailes’

Fox host Bill O'Reilly really wanted to send Megyn Kelly off to NBC in a way that their former boss would truly appreciate.

Putin: Donald And I Are Saving Each Other For Our Inauguration Day

Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump want to have a very special relationship these next few years, so they are taking their time.

Charles Manson Rushed From Hospital To Trump Tower

By special request of Steve Bannon, convicted killer Charles Manson is flown from the hospital to a meeting at Trump Tower.

Trump Admits Wanting To Know What Vladimir Putin’s Dick Tastes Like

Donald Trump is focusing on beefing up his foreign policy chops, starting with getting to the bottom of the taste of Vladimir Putin's penis.

Man Plans Transition From Blaming Obama For Everything To Blaming Obama For Everything Trump Fucks Up

Blaming Obama has become such a routine, vital part of this man's life that he's had to plan for how to handle it when Trump is president.

Trump Has To Return Winter Gloves Putin Gave Him For Christmas

President-elect Donald Trump couldn't use the very nice Christmas gift Russian president Vladimir Putin gave him, so he returned it.

“Donald Trump’s Supreme Court Shortlist”

Believe it or not Donald Trump gets to pick our next Supreme Court Justice, but who will he pick? We've got some ideas here.

Anti-Vaxxer Outraged Friends ‘Listened to Common Sense and Science,’ and Had Their Baby Vaccinated

An anti-vaxxer in California was absolutely devastated when he found out a friend and his wife had their baby girl vaccinated.