Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Mike Pence Bounds Into The Vice-President’s Office With Manifest Of Vaginae To Register And Regulate

Vice-President Mike Pence's first day on the job saw him leaping with joy at the chance to control, inventory, and regulate the nation's vaginae.

Trump: ‘Without The Broads Who Should’ve Been At Home Making Sandwiches, No One Was At The Women’s March’

President Trump isn't so sure you should trust the reported crowd size numbers when it comes to the weekend's women's march.

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 2

Some might think you can't measure a hollow, empty platitude like American Greatness, but those people are probably commies or something.

Trump: ‘Ivanka Told Me My Crowd Was A Good Size!’

Many people have said Trump's inaugural crowd size was smallish compared to his predecessors. But Ivanka has tried to comfort Daddy over it.

Sean Spicer: The Moon Is Made Of Cheese And Someone Is Inside It Keeping Its Light On

White House press secretary Sean Spicer's conspicuous and inauspicious start to his time in the job just got a little weirder.

Trump Changes Official Presidential Twitter Account To @POTUSSR

Just a day after entering office, Donald Trump makes a big change to the official Twitter account.

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 1

Some might think you can't measure a hollow, empty platitude like American Greatness, but those people are probably commies or something.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Final Count Edition!

After eight years of unbridled gun confiscation, do you have any of your collection of liberty lobbers left?

Trump Was Unsure Which Racist Joke To Open His Inaugural Address With

Trump knew he needed to break the ice somehow, but which racist joke would work best as the opener for his inaugural address?

76 Trombones Lead Trump & Big Parade To White House, Where He’ll Bring Back Manufacturing, Conduct Boys Band

President Donald Trump stands in front of a large marching band he taught to play their instruments and leads them to the White House.