Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Hires Dr. Jenny McCarthy As White House Special Counsel On Alternative Facts

When it comes to administering alternative facts, perhaps no one alive today is as convincing as Dr. Jenny McCarthy, now on Team Trump.

President Trump Declares The White House A Safe Space From Criticism or Harsh Words

Cut Trump a break! You can't expect a president to do his job if every day he's in the White House he has to hear criticism do you?

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 3

We have cracked the formula for tabulating the daily shift in American greatness brought about by President Donald J. Trump.

Mike Pence Bounds Into The Vice-President’s Office With Manifest Of Vaginae To Register And Regulate

Vice-President Mike Pence's first day on the job saw him leaping with joy at the chance to control, inventory, and regulate the nation's vaginae.

Trump: ‘Without The Broads Who Should’ve Been At Home Making Sandwiches, No One Was At The Women’s March’

President Trump isn't so sure you should trust the reported crowd size numbers when it comes to the weekend's women's march.

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 2

Some might think you can't measure a hollow, empty platitude like American Greatness, but those people are probably commies or something.

Trump: ‘Ivanka Told Me My Crowd Was A Good Size!’

Many people have said Trump's inaugural crowd size was smallish compared to his predecessors. But Ivanka has tried to comfort Daddy over it.

Sean Spicer: The Moon Is Made Of Cheese And Someone Is Inside It Keeping Its Light On

White House press secretary Sean Spicer's conspicuous and inauspicious start to his time in the job just got a little weirder.

Trump Changes Official Presidential Twitter Account To @POTUSSR

Just a day after entering office, Donald Trump makes a big change to the official Twitter account.

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 1

Some might think you can't measure a hollow, empty platitude like American Greatness, but those people are probably commies or something.