Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 10

If you're looking for a daily tracking of American Greatness, you've come to the right space on the Internet-tube thingamajig.

D.C. Rumor: Donald Trump To Nominate Scott Baio To Supreme Court

For alleged actor Scott Baio, his allegiance to former reality-TV star and current President Donald Trump may pay real dividends soon.

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 8 & 9

We're tracking American Greatness every single day of President Donald J. Trump's historic presidency.

Steve Bannon Comes Out From Underneath His Bridge To Defend Muslim Ban

Coming out from underneath the D.C.-area bridge he calls home, Steve Bannon answered reporters' questions about Trump's Muslim ban.

Trump Signs Executive Order Authorizing New, Alternative Constitution

After more than 200 years using the same one, President Donald Trump thinks it's time to shake things up and go with an alternative Constitution.

President Trump Signs Executive Order Officially Classifying U.S. As Alternative Christian Nation

Another day, another executive order written by President Donald J. Trump. This one is meant to ease tensions after signing a Muslim ban.

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 7

Some might think you can't really measure American Greatness, but we've found an alternative scientific method to do just that.

Mexico Offers To Pay For Pest Control Service To Remove ‘La Cucaracha Naranja Gigante’ From The White House

President Donald Trump may not be able to get Mexico to pay for his border wall, but that doesn't mean they aren't willing to pay for other things.

Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 6

Each day gives us another chance to accurately track just how much American Greatness there is in the good ol' U.S. of A.

Screeching, Racist Broom Handle In A Blonde Wig To Fill In For Vacationing Tammy Lahren

Right-wing pundit Tammy Lahren is taking a much-needed vacation, and her network has found the absolute perfect analogue for her while she's gone.