Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Having Already Made America Great Again, Trump Begins 2020 Campaign In Florida

Co-President Trump is getting a four year head start on his re-election bid with a rally near his "Southern White House" in Florida.

Sean Spicer: “President Putin Also Believes The White House A Finely Tuned Machine”

Sean Spicer, Donald Trump, and Russian President Vladimir Putin all agree: The Trump White House is a fine tuned machine.

Trump Orders First Amendment Revised To Protect “Freedom Of The Friendly Press”

Maybe the Constitution doesn't currently protect it, but Sub-President Trump really wants the First Amendment to only cover the friendly press.

God To Pat Robertson: “Fuck Donald Trump And Also Fuck You, Pharisee Bitch!”

God has a special message for one of his employees, televangelist Pat Robertson. The message is...not so nice, really.

Trump Asks Asian American Reporter To Make Egg Rolls For Him

Sub-President Trump continues to make racially insensitive comments toward members of the press.

Betsy DeVos Proposes Changing Congressional Library To “Lieberry Of Congress”

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos will not just take a passive role in educating our children. She will seek reforms everywhere.

Local Man Wants Moderate Republicans To Apologize For Helping Elect An Orange Terrorist

If there are such things as the elusive moderate Republican around still, this Oregon man wants an apology from them for Trump.

Trump Invites Putin To Treat Mar-A-Lago As His “Winter Kremlin”

If Trump can treat Mar-A-Lago as his Winter White House, he's hoping his pal Vladdy Putin can use it as his Winter Kremlin.

Trump Policy Adviser Stephen Miller Says 7.2 Trillion Illegal Immigrants Voted Last Year

Senior Trump official Stephen Miller doubles down on his claims of rampant voter fraud in the election his boss won last year.

PolitiFact Says Trump Administration Pushing Their Needle To Near Breaking Point

The fact-checkers with PolitiFact are saying the Trump administration is putting them and their machinery in grave, immediate peril.