Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...
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Totally Bulls*it News

New EPA Head Scott Pruitt: “Maybe Mother Earth Shouldn’t Dress Like That If She Doesn’t Want Us Raping Her”

New EPA chief Scott Pruitt recently gave his first official remarks as the man charged with running the government agency that protects our environment.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Betsy DeVos Wants 3 R’s Officially Changed To “Reading, Reciting, and Regurgitating The Bible”

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos wants schools to get back to the basics. As in, the very, very basics. As in, one book for all classes.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Signs EO Declaring Electoral College Margin Of Victory “Amazing And Historical”

Co-President Donald Trump signed an order relating to his Electoral College victory that he hopes helps the country "move on" from the election last year.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Gets Go-Ahead From Putin To Make Steve Bannon His Official Co-President

Thanks to Russian President Vladimir Putin giving the approval necessary, Steve Bannon is now officially the Co-President.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Offers ‘Swedishland’ His ‘Deepest Pussy Grabs And Condolences’

President Trump offers sympathies to Sweden in his own, unique, purely Trumpian way.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

CIA Warns More Fictitious Terror Attacks May Be On The Way

Newly confirmed CIA Director Mike Pompeo has a grave and dire warning for all Americans in regards to fake terror attacks.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

13 Year Old Trans Boy Thinks Milo Yiannopoulos Is A ‘Totally Creepy Perv’

A young trans boy wrote a scathing letter to the editor blasting the hypocrisy of Milo Yiannopoulos championing sexual assault of minors.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Senate Confirms Billionaire Fox As Secretary Of Hen House Defense On Mostly Party Lines

As the Senate confirms another of his cabinet picks, Trump's administration is starting to really take shape.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump To Sign Executive Order Declaring Civil War “A Tie” And Mar-A-Lago The Official Southern White House

Can Sub-President Trump rechristen his Florida compound as The Southern White House?
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

White House Issues Details On ‘Person Of Interest’ In Swedish Terror Attack

The Trump/Bannon White House has issued an alert looking for a person of interest in the deadly attacks in Sweden.
James Schlarmann -
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