Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Claims ‘Crooked Hillary’ Wouldn’t Have The Stamina to Keep His Post-Inauguration Campaign Schedule

Co-President Donald J. Trump has already broken the mold and shown bold leadership by campaigning even after he was sworn into office.

Over Brunch of Eggs Benedict and Russian Vodka Martinis, Trump Downplays Comey/Russia Investigation

While enjoying a hearty culinary delight of a brunch, President Donald Trump tried to cast doubt on James Comey investigating ties to Russia.

Trump Demands “World’s Best FBI Director” Mug Back From James Comey

A rift might be permanently opening between Co-President Donald J. Trump and FBI Director James Comey after an investigation was confirmed.

AIDS, Cancer Considering Presidential Run After Trump’s Approval Rating Drops To 37%

A new Gallup poll puts Trump's approval rating at just 37%, which is inspiring some to considering politics and running for president.

Trump Upset President Bannon Won’t Put His Signed Executive Orders On White House Fridge

Co-Presidents Trump and Bannon recently had a tense but productive conversation about where signed executive orders can or should be displayed.

Klansman Disavowing Trump Over Sebastian Gorka’s Connections To Hungarian Nazi Party

Donald Trump's anti-terrorism expert, Sebastian Gorka, has ties to a Hungarian political party the U.S. government believes was under Nazi control.

God: Americans Who Support Taking 24 Million Poor People’s Health Coverage Away ‘Not Eligible’ For Christianity

God and his son Jesus "Hubert" are none too pleased with Americans calling themselves "Christian" and then taking things from the sick and poor.

Mulvaney And Trump Clink Champagne Glasses, Snack On Lobster, And Toast The Demise Meals On Wheels

Budget director Mick Mulvaney and Co-President Donald J. Trump enjoyed a lovely meal together and toasted the end of Meals on Wheels.

Sean Spicer’s Head Literally Explodes During White House Press Briefing

Tough questions make Sean Spicer's head explode at a recent White House press briefing, when questions of wiretapping were brought up.

Trump To Lay Wreath At Jefferson Davis’ Tomb, Honor Him As One of ‘America’s Greatest Presidents’

President Donald Trump will continue to honor curiously chosen Americans when he lays a wreath Jefferson Davis' tomb this summer.