Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Mulvaney And Trump Clink Champagne Glasses, Snack On Lobster, And Toast The Demise Meals On Wheels

Budget director Mick Mulvaney and Co-President Donald J. Trump enjoyed a lovely meal together and toasted the end of Meals on Wheels.

Sean Spicer’s Head Literally Explodes During White House Press Briefing

Tough questions make Sean Spicer's head explode at a recent White House press briefing, when questions of wiretapping were brought up.

Trump To Lay Wreath At Jefferson Davis’ Tomb, Honor Him As One of ‘America’s Greatest Presidents’

President Donald Trump will continue to honor curiously chosen Americans when he lays a wreath Jefferson Davis' tomb this summer.

God, Jesus Comment On Trump’s Budget: ‘Fuck That Un-Christian Pile Of Fucking Shit’

God and Jesus just got a look at the details behind Donald Trump's budget. They have some strongly stated opinions and concerns.

Trump’s New Budget Would Slash Costs By Cutting Poor People

Donald Trump's proposed budget would cut costs in some surprising and new ways, but will Congress give him what he wants?

White House Press Pool To Add Six Additional Microwaves To ‘Encapture-ate All The Kodak Moments’

In order to get even more coverage of the 45th President and Co-Presidents of the United States, the White House purchases six new microwaves.

Trump Hoping Putin Will Give Him An ‘Extra-Special Pat On The Head’ For Tax Return Distraction

Trump is hoping the distraction brought about by Rachel Maddow over-hyping his 2005 tax returns will be noticed by his Russian lover.

Man Who Burned, Shot, and Hung Obama In Effigy Really Offended By Snoop Dogg’s Anti-Trump Video

After eight years of protesting President Barack Hussein Obama with provocative imagery, one man says Snoop Dogg went too far against Trump.

DeVos Wants School Held One Day A Week, In One Specific Building In Every Town

To save money in a number of different ways, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos wants some radical new changes made to public schools.

Kellyanne Conway To Have Her Own Line Of Extra Foil-Sealed Microwavable Frozen Dinners

Top Trump administration official Kellyanne Conway is teaming up with a maker of frozen dinners for a brand new product.