Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump’s New Budget Would Slash Costs By Cutting Poor People

Donald Trump's proposed budget would cut costs in some surprising and new ways, but will Congress give him what he wants?

White House Press Pool To Add Six Additional Microwaves To ‘Encapture-ate All The Kodak Moments’

In order to get even more coverage of the 45th President and Co-Presidents of the United States, the White House purchases six new microwaves.

Trump Hoping Putin Will Give Him An ‘Extra-Special Pat On The Head’ For Tax Return Distraction

Trump is hoping the distraction brought about by Rachel Maddow over-hyping his 2005 tax returns will be noticed by his Russian lover.

Man Who Burned, Shot, and Hung Obama In Effigy Really Offended By Snoop Dogg’s Anti-Trump Video

After eight years of protesting President Barack Hussein Obama with provocative imagery, one man says Snoop Dogg went too far against Trump.

DeVos Wants School Held One Day A Week, In One Specific Building In Every Town

To save money in a number of different ways, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos wants some radical new changes made to public schools.

Kellyanne Conway To Have Her Own Line Of Extra Foil-Sealed Microwavable Frozen Dinners

Top Trump administration official Kellyanne Conway is teaming up with a maker of frozen dinners for a brand new product.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Changing His Name Back To Lew Alcindor To Skip TSA Scrutiny

The TSA has been stopping Americans with Muslim-looking names so this NBA Hall of Famer wants to change his name back to what it once was.

G.E., Kellyanne Conway Announce New “Spy-crowave” That Shoots 4k Video, Takes 128 Megapixel Pictures

General Electric and Kellyanne Conway teamed-up to announce a brand new line of special, high-tech spying microwaves to shareholders today.

Conway Caught Freebasing Chemtrails In Tinfoil Tent, Ranting That Bowling Green Was An ‘Inside False Flag’

When her friends and colleagues recently staged an intervention, Kellyanne Conway was caught in a compromising position.

Mexican American Muslim Soldier Says He’ll Keep Defending America Despite Steve King’s Bigotry

Congressman Steve King is a bigot and white supremacist, but that won't stop one Mexican American Muslim from defending his right to be a bigot.