Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Trump Takes Credit For Affordable Care Act And Being The First President Of Color

Everyone knows the Affordable Care Act is one of President Trump's signature achievements, along with breaking the sound barrier and curing AIDS.

“Donald Trump’s 2017 New Year’s Resolutions”

Donald Trump's got the best resolutions. Many people are saying it. They say that Trump's resolutions are the best resolutions.

After 2016, God Says He’s Having His ‘Aim Re-calibrated’

Larry "God" Schumway says he feels terrible about how bad his aim was in 2016 and promises to have it rectified for 2017.

Suspicious Bag Of Dicks Forces Evacuation Of Trump Tower

For the second day in a row, Trump Tower had to be evacuated when a suspicious bag was discovered in the lobby of the skyscraper.

Putin Getting Anxious To ‘Take It To The Next Level’ With Trump

Looks like things between everyone's favorite power couple, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump are really starting to heat up!

Man Who Still Believes Obama Is A Kenyan Socialist Dictator Ready For Democrats To ‘Get Over’ Trump

Clem O'Connell told his podcast audience over the weekend that people protesting Trump need to "get over it" like Republicans did with Obama.

World Leaders Just Want Putin and Trump to Fuck and Get It Over With

The sexually explosive relationship between Putin and Trump has all the U.N. ambassadors concerned, and wishing the two would just get a room together.

Trump Hints He May Renegotiate ‘That Santa Claus Thing’ Before Next Year’s Christmas

Trump and Santa Claus might be meeting to discuss the terms of the annual gift distribution program. Times are changing, indeed.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #410

Obummer is his name, and gun confiscation is his game. But did he snatch up your trusty liberty lobber this week, patriot?

“Respecting the National Anthem with Confused White Guy”

Everyone's favorite befuddled Caucasian is here to discuss the proper ways to show respect for the National Anthem.