Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

KKK Offers to Loan Richard Spencer’s Hipster Nazis Real Torches So They Don’t ‘Look Like Preppy Bitches’

The KKK has offered white nationalist and the world's best punching bag Richard Spencer real torches for his next lynching party, we mean, lawful protest.

President Hillary Clinton Divulges Secrets to Russians, Congressional Republicans Cool With It

In a closed door meeting with Russian envoys, President Hillary Clinton gave away intelligence but Republicans are really totes cool with it.

President Trump Sends a Mother’s Day Gift to the ‘Special MILF’ in His Life

On his very first mother's day in office, President Trump sent an extra special gift to that extra special MILF in his life.

President Trump Wants Bill O’Reilly to Lead the FBI

The Trump administration is on the lookout for a new FBI director, and one of the president's closest allies just might be the one to get the job.

Neither Trump Nor Putin Wants to Be The First to Say “I Love You, Goodbye” and Hang Up

Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump have a cute little exchange, you know, like puppets and their puppeteers are wont to do.

One of Nation’s Top Constitutional Scholars Offers to Lead Independent Probe of Trump/Russia

An independent probe of Russian involvement in last year's election has one of the country's top constitutional scholars volunteering his services.

Petition Started to Remove Confederate Monument from Attorney General’s Office

A new petition is circulating online to have a racist monument to the Confederacy removed from the office the Attorney General of the United States.

Report: Trump Could Nominate Frederick Douglass For FBI Director Post

President Donald Trump thinks way, way, way outside of most boxes on Earth. Replacing FBI Director James Comey will be another of those instances.

Trump Claims He Was The First One to Say, “What’s Up?” as a Greeting

President Trump is clearly the best wordsmith to ever occupy the White House, and he's even coined several popular terms and axioms to boot!

Hillary Clinton Says Comey Firing Is Proof Men Are ‘Too Emotional’ To Lead Effectively

Hillary Clinton told a conference of women recently that Trump firing James Comey as FBI Director proves men might be too emotional to be president.