Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

13 Year Old Trans Boy Thinks Milo Yiannopoulos Is A ‘Totally Creepy Perv’

A young trans boy wrote a scathing letter to the editor blasting the hypocrisy of Milo Yiannopoulos championing sexual assault of minors.

Senate Confirms Billionaire Fox As Secretary Of Hen House Defense On Mostly Party Lines

As the Senate confirms another of his cabinet picks, Trump's administration is starting to really take shape.

Trump To Sign Executive Order Declaring Civil War “A Tie” And Mar-A-Lago The Official Southern White House

Can Sub-President Trump rechristen his Florida compound as The Southern White House?

White House Issues Details On ‘Person Of Interest’ In Swedish Terror Attack

The Trump/Bannon White House has issued an alert looking for a person of interest in the deadly attacks in Sweden.

Having Already Made America Great Again, Trump Begins 2020 Campaign In Florida

Co-President Trump is getting a four year head start on his re-election bid with a rally near his "Southern White House" in Florida.

Sean Spicer: “President Putin Also Believes The White House A Finely Tuned Machine”

Sean Spicer, Donald Trump, and Russian President Vladimir Putin all agree: The Trump White House is a fine tuned machine.

Trump Orders First Amendment Revised To Protect “Freedom Of The Friendly Press”

Maybe the Constitution doesn't currently protect it, but Sub-President Trump really wants the First Amendment to only cover the friendly press.

God To Pat Robertson: “Fuck Donald Trump And Also Fuck You, Pharisee Bitch!”

God has a special message for one of his employees, televangelist Pat Robertson. The message is...not so nice, really.

Trump Asks Asian American Reporter To Make Egg Rolls For Him

Sub-President Trump continues to make racially insensitive comments toward members of the press.

Betsy DeVos Proposes Changing Congressional Library To “Lieberry Of Congress”

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos will not just take a passive role in educating our children. She will seek reforms everywhere.