Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Trump: ‘When The President Does It, That Means It’s Not Obstruction of Justice or Treason’

Defending himself in relation to recent scandals, President Trump says a president cannot commit treason or obstruct justice.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Jabba the Ailes Found Dead With Possible Signs of Strangulation

Bo shooda! Jabba the Ailes is dead, and Imperial forces suspect foul play.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

“We Can Think of Two Politicians Treated Worse Than You, Donald” by Abe Lincoln & JFK

JFK and Honest Abe are a little perturbed about what Donald Trump said about himself to a bunch of Coast Guard graduating cadets.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

James Comey Sends Donald Trump His Memos and Case of Snapple Peach Mint Tea

Former FBI Director James Comey handed over copies of his now infamous memos and a special gift of Snapple peach mint tea.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ted Cruz Wants To Know If Trump Got a BJ in Comey Meetings Before He Supports Special Prosecutor

Ted Cruz knows the only way Trump telling Comey not to continue the FBI investigation into Mike Flynn was bad is if Trump was getting blown at the time.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

KKK Offers to Loan Richard Spencer’s Hipster Nazis Real Torches So They Don’t ‘Look Like Preppy Bitches’

The KKK has offered white nationalist and the world's best punching bag Richard Spencer real torches for his next lynching party, we mean, lawful protest.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

President Hillary Clinton Divulges Secrets to Russians, Congressional Republicans Cool With It

In a closed door meeting with Russian envoys, President Hillary Clinton gave away intelligence but Republicans are really totes cool with it.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

President Trump Sends a Mother’s Day Gift to the ‘Special MILF’ in His Life

On his very first mother's day in office, President Trump sent an extra special gift to that extra special MILF in his life.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

President Trump Wants Bill O’Reilly to Lead the FBI

The Trump administration is on the lookout for a new FBI director, and one of the president's closest allies just might be the one to get the job.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Neither Trump Nor Putin Wants to Be The First to Say “I Love You, Goodbye” and Hang Up

Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump have a cute little exchange, you know, like puppets and their puppeteers are wont to do.
James Schlarmann -
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