Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Ted Nugent Says He’s ‘Leading by Example’ and Folds, Puts Away “Lock That C*nt Up” T-Shirt

Outspoken conservative rocker Ted Nugent has decided that the shooting of Steve Scalise means he must extend an olive branch to libtards.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Actual Witch to Trump: ‘In Your Case It’s a Whiny Bitch Hunt’

This actual, real-life witch is having none of this "I'm a victim of a witch hunt" stuff from President Donald Trump, and she's speaking out.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ken Starr Sees a ‘Stunning Lack of Blowjobs’ In Obstruction Case Against Trump

If there was no voluntary, consensual oral involved, Clinton prosecutor Ken Starr says Donald Trump could not have obstructed justice.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Gang of Hooligan Thespians Attack White House With Dramatic Reading of “All the President’s Men”

We all know you just can't trust those drama kids to not commit acts of artistic terrorism. Especially not with a snowflake in chief in the White House.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Eric Trump and Sean Hannity Agree That Inhuman, Mentally-Ill, Evil Democrats to Blame for Divisive Political Atmosphere

Eric Trump and Fox News host Sean Hannity both agree the reason the country is so divided is all the inhuman, garbage Democrats who are literal AIDS.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Wayne LaPierre Makes Impassioned Plea For Congress to Pretend Friends and Colleagues Were First Graders

NRA Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre wants members of Congress to pretend their friends and colleagues were just innocent first graders.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Jeff Sessions Can’t Recall Why Anyone Ever Thought He’s Competent at Anything

Attorney General Jeff Sessions might have a few issues with his memory. And he can't figure out why anyone every thought he was good at anything he did.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

His Anti-Government, Pro-Gun Rhetoric Aside, This Man Condemns ‘Libtard Violence’ of VA Shooting

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- As a member of the First Arkansas Backyard...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ivanka Trump to Sing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” to Her Daddy at Party

On his 71st birthday, President Trump will have his daughter Ivanka serenade him with a traditional birthday song.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

EXCLUSIVE LOOK! Leaked Details of GOP’s Top Secret Obamacare Replacement Bill

Republicans have been writing their replacement for Obamacare in secret. But initial details of the law they're drafting have just been leaked.
James Schlarmann -
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