Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Angry Trump Supporter Threatens NPR Reporter Who Quoted President Trump’s Inaugural Address

When an NPR reporter started quoting from Trump's inaugural address, things got awkward for one of his most ardent supporters.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Hannity Says He’s ‘Adjusting’ to Tweeting With One Hand on Phone, the Other on Trump’s Dick

On his radio show, Fox News host Sean Hannity explained that he's had to make some adjustments to being one of Trump's pets in the media.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Hobby Lobby Offers to Give Female Employees Nazi Gold For Birth Control

Members of the Hobby Lobby executive board want to save face with the public and kill two birds with one stone in the process.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Started Telling Putin About His Electoral College Victory, Putin Interrupted and Said ‘You’re Welcome’

During their first face-to-face meeting, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin shared an awkward moment over the Electoral College.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Putin Disappointed Trump Doesn’t Look Like His Online Dating Pic

When Putin Met Trump...he wasn't all that happy with what he saw. Can't say we blame him.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump University to Give Lindsay Lohan Doctorate in Political Science

Trump University will be giving actress Lindsay Lohan her very own doctorate degree in the discipline of political science next year.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Putin Tosses Trump a Treat After G20 Press Conference

President Trump got a special treat from Vladimir Putin after answering questions about Russian hacking of the 2016 presidential election.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Kathy Griffin to Release Animated GIF of Trump Beheading Made From “Clash of the Titans” Scene

Kathy Griffin will release a new political statement via animated gif, an art form she hopes Trump supporters continue to defend and validate.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Preparations Underway for President Trump’s First Date With Putin

At the G20 summit later this week, Trump and Putin will get a chance to have their first official date since Russia helped Trump win last year's election.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

President Donald Wants to Turn Sally Hemmings’ Secret Slave Quarters Into Trump Hotel “Dream Suite”

The quarters of Sally Hemmings, Jefferson's slave and mother to many of his illegitimate rape babies, has been found. President Trump has a plan for it.
James Schlarmann -
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