Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Shortly After Signing Order Declaring All Truth ‘Relative,’ Trump Makes Inappropriate Sexual Comment About It

The truth. Donald Trump doesn't use it. Doesn't know much about it, really. But he does know he absolutely wants to sleep with it now.

Devin Nunes Swears He’ll Be Fair And Independent, Just As Soon He Finishes Trump Off

Devin Nunes can be independent is really not a Trump lackey, guys, he promises. Now let him finish what he was doing before you interrupted.

Local Republican Loves Trumpcare Because It’s A ‘Free Market Death Panel’

A small town Republican has fallen in love with Trumpcare because he sees it as free market eugenics.

Local Man Unsure Trump Should Get To Pick SCOTUS Judge In Possible Impeachment Year

Does an open FBI investigation into someone preclude them from nominating someone to the Supreme Court? Republicans used to think so.

Paul Manafort, Pockets Desperately Bulging With Rubles, Claims He’s A Target of ‘Fake News Witch Hunt’

Former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort says his questionable connections to Russia are just a made-up fake news story.

Trump’s Wiretapp Flapp Inspires Him To Demand New Tinfoil Curtains For Entire West Wing

All the hub-bub over his accusations that President Obama ordered an illegal wiretap on him has given Trump a new idea for White House decoration.

Trump To Ask Congress For New Tax To Cover Trump Tower, Mar-A-Lago Secret Service Protection

In order to pay for his unusual Secret Service needs, Co-President Donald Trump is prepared to ask Congress for a new tax on the American people.

Trump Claims ‘Crooked Hillary’ Wouldn’t Have The Stamina to Keep His Post-Inauguration Campaign Schedule

Co-President Donald J. Trump has already broken the mold and shown bold leadership by campaigning even after he was sworn into office.

Over Brunch of Eggs Benedict and Russian Vodka Martinis, Trump Downplays Comey/Russia Investigation

While enjoying a hearty culinary delight of a brunch, President Donald Trump tried to cast doubt on James Comey investigating ties to Russia.

Trump Demands “World’s Best FBI Director” Mug Back From James Comey

A rift might be permanently opening between Co-President Donald J. Trump and FBI Director James Comey after an investigation was confirmed.