Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Neil Gorsuch Will Honor His Hero By Plagiarizing His First Supreme Court Opinion From Justice Scalia

Soon Judge Neil Gorsuch will be confirmed to the Supreme Court bench. He will honor his predecessor and mentor by copying his best work.

Fox News Renames “The O’Reilly Factor” as ‘The No Profit Zone’

The O'Reilly Factor, facing a mass exodus of sponsors. I getting a new, more honest name from its Fox News producers. Sad.

Steve Bannon Asks Trump If He Can Keep His Monogrammed Presidential Bath Towels

Having been removed from the National Security Council, Steve Bannon is on unsure footing with his co-president, Donald Trump.

Steve Bannon, Seb Gorka Caught Masturbating Each Other Quietly But Furiously In Holocaust Memorial Museum

It's been an odd and disappointing day for Co-President Steve Bannon. He was fired from the NSC and now he's been caught with his pants down again.

Kurt Cobain Looks Down on Earth, Sees President Trump, Says He Made the ‘Right Decision’

Though he's not easily amused, Kurt Cobain looks down to Earth, sees President Trump, and realizes he probably made the right call.

After 20 Other Companies Pull Out, Planned Parenthood Offers to Sponsor “The O’Reilly Factor”

Twenty companies in the last twenty-four hours have dropped their advertising relationship with O'Reilly and his "O'Reilly Factor."

Hobby Lobby to Start Advertising on “The O’Reilly Factor”

Though his show is losing advertisers by the handful these days, Bill O'Reilly's "The O'Reilly Factor" just got some good news.

Fox News Hires Bill Cosby to Co-Host New Women’s Issues Show With Bill O’Reilly

Does Fox News host and serial sexual harasser Bill O'Reilly have a new broadcast partner in television veteran Bill Cosby?

Merrick Garland Sends Neil Gorsuch Card Congratulating Him On Being Filibustered for the Supreme Court

Merrick Garland saw the filibuster of Neil Gorsuch as a milestone worthy of congratulations, and he sent the man who could get his seat a card.

VP Mike Pence Wants Law Making It Illegal to Get an Erection Before Praying First

No man should get turgidity in his pants unless God says it's okay first. At least according to Vice-President/High Priest Mike Pence.