Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Hopes Putting Don Jr. On “Timeout” Will Resolve Russian Collusion Scandal

With mounting pressure on all sides after a bombshell New York Times article proves collusion between Don Jr. and Russia, President Trump takes bold action.

Donald Trump Accidentally Finds Obama’s Confiscated Guns Stuffed Into White House Closet

President Trump accidentally found a cache of weapons taken from good, clean, ammo hoarding American patriots by Barack Obama.

Preacher Who Prayed With Trump Wakes Up With Third Degree Hand Burns

Reverend Malloy recently "laid hands" on President Trump, and has burns on his hands to prove it.

President Trump Looking Into Statute of Limitations on Disowning Children

With Don Jr. in some real legal and political hot water, President Trump is looking into any and all solutions to his problems.

OJ Simpson Releases Knife Ahead of Bombshell NYT Story on Murders of Ron and Nicole

Former NFL star OJ Simpson found out about a new bombshell New York Times report and decided to be "transparent" and release possession of a knife.

Steve Bannon Invites Donald Trump Jr. On Fishing Trip For Just The Two Of Them

After a rough week in the headlines, Donald Trump Jr. gets to spend some quality time with the President of the United States of America on a boat.

Trump Explains the Witch Hunt Against His Son on the Back of Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate

President Trump is reportedly fuming mad at the media's insistence that they cover the most powerful family in the world accurately.

President Trump Lets First Lady Rest Her Finger on Big Red Button While He Takes a Leak

President Trump was in need of a bathroom break, so he asked his First Lady to cover for him while he was in the little handed boys room.

Hillary Spotted in NYC, Circling Donald Trump Jr.’s Building & Shouting ‘But HIS Emails!’

As news broke of his own email problems, Hillary Clinton circled Donald Trump Jr.'s block to mock him over them.

Tiffany Trump Files Paperwork to Become “Tiffany Not-Trump”

For Tiffany Trump, her father's presidential administration has caused nothing but headaches. It's time for a change.