Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

Trump Insists NY Attorney General ‘Should Be Going After John Barron,” Not Him

FARTS-A-LOT-THOUGH, FLORIDA -- A former, one-term, twice permanently impeached, defeated U.S....

NY Attorney General: Eric Trump Pleaded the Fifth When Asked to Spell His Name

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Overnight, the New York Attorney General...

Ever Since My Butthole Started Following Marjorie Taylor Greene, It Spews the Dumbest Shit

In hind(end)sight, giving my rectum its own Facebook account has come...

Joe Rogan Took a Shower Live on His Podcast and Still Didn’t Believe Water is Wet

FT. STUPID, TEXAS -- Former reality-TV game show host, podcaster, and...

Dan Bongino: “Crosswalks Tyrannize Drivers Who Don’t Want to Slow Down for Pedestrians”

LAKE MORON, FLORIDA -- An angry, teary-eyed Dan Bongino -- thrice...

Can All Right-Wing Twitter Trolls Suck Their Own Dick, or Just Glenn Greenwald?

The social media microblogging website Twitter has more than its fair...

Disgruntled OAN Viewers Can Still Get The Same Information at Their Next Klan Rally

Last week, AT&T stunned millions of unwashed, cousin-lusting Americans when it...

Rand Paul Tried to Filibuster Sunrise on MLK Day

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, Sen. Rand Paul (Q-KY) stood on...

Analysis: 90% of Videos on Rumble Are Dan Bongino Hate-Spanking to AOC Clips

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Recently, right-wing agitator Dan Bongino was...

Man Shares Inspirational MLK Quote Right Before Calling CRT “Racist Marxism” in Comment Section

Social media historians are calling it one of the most interesting...