Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Report: ‘Something Stinky’ Tipped Off Several People to “Masked Singer” Identity

When former New York City Mayor and Chief Donald Trump Insurrectionist...

Pat Robertson: God Will Warm Texas If He Stops Watching “Magic Mike” for Research Purposes Twelve Times a Week

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Living fossil and televangelist Pat Robertson often...

Failing Capitalist State Still Struggling to Provide Heat and Power to Millions

THE CAPITALIST REPUBLIC OF TEXAS  -- In the failed capitalist state...

Eric Bolling and Bill O’Reilly Slam Zucker’s ‘Inappropriate’ Workplace Behavior

This week, scandal broke loose at one of the three major...

Greene Decries ‘Cancel Culture and Fascism’ as She Chucks a Copy of “Maus” Into the Bonfire

INCESTLAND, GEORGIA -- Recently, a school board in Texas gained notoriety...

Jim Jordan: “We Wouldn’t Have to Ban Books if the Left Would Just Let Us Burn Them Again”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressdouche Jim Jordan (Q-OH) appeared on OANN this...

Cold Texas Temperatures Signal It’s Time for Dodos to Fly South to Cancun

As it gets colder in the Lone Star State, its dodo...

TN School Board Approves Only Two Books for Classrooms: The Bible and “The Art of the Deal”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Marking a change in current trends,...

Trump Demands Pence Be Investigated For Not Letting Himself Be Hanged by MAGA Supporters

FARTS-A-LOT-THO, FLORIDA -- Taking in a second buffet lunch of the...