Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Sean Spicer to Play Melissa McCarthy on SNL’s Next Season

Former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer is set to play actress Melissa McCarthy on next year's season of SNL.

Scaramucci Tells Press He Saw Trump Fire Proton Torpedo Down Shaft Only Two Meters Wide

Anthony Scaramucci is the new White House Communications director, and he's already out in the streets, communicating things about his boss.

Trump to Pay Tribute to Sean Spicer, Dedicate Bushes in Front of White House to Him

Sean Spicer has resigned his post as the Trump administration's press secretary, but the White House plans to honor his brief tenure and service anyway.

Trump Pre-Pardons Himself for Pardoning Himself for Things He Said He Didn’t Do

If Trump pardons himself, he may put himself in even deeper legal waters. So he needs to pre-pardon himself for pardoning himself. Get it?

House Republicans Draft Articles of Un-peachment Against Hillary Clinton

The Republicans defeated Hillary Clinton in last year's election, but don't tell that to them. They're busy pretending she's president.

John McCain Asks Mayo Clinic to Prepare Brain Surgery Bill in iPhones

How many iPhones would it take to pay for the brain surgery Sen. John McCain just had? He wants to find out.

White House Promises More On-Camera Briefings Once They’re Not Beta Cucks Anymore

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer says that once the administration gets tougher and grows a set, they'll start on-camera pressers again.

Trump Explains Secret Meeting With Putin Was ‘Just a Meet Cute’

Nothing nefarious was discussed during Putin and Trump's secret meeting; it was just a random meeting of two people destined to be together.

Mitch McConnell Prays For Jesus’ Guiding Hand To Rip Chemo Treatments Away from Kids With Cancer

Mitch McConnell has resorted to reaching out to a higher power in the pursuit of his dream -- ripping healthcare away from millions of Americans.

President Trump Asks Mitch McConnell To Change Senate Rules To Single Vote Threshold For Everything

After another harsh political defeat, Trump asks Mitch McConnell to change the Senate rules for him.