Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Stephen Miller Reassures Trump Supporters He Puts His Nazi Uniform On ‘One Leg At A Time, Too’

Sure, Stephen Miller grew up with incredible white and wealth privilege, but that doesn't make him any different than run of the mill American Nazis.

Bill O’Reilly Sends Commiserative Dick Pic to Eric Bolling, In Solidarity

Suspended Fox News host Eric Bolling got an unexpected bit of support from Bill O'Reilly, a former colleague and fellow sexual predator.

Trump’s Bone Spurs Flare Up As He Tweets Insult Over Senator Blumenthal’s Vietnam Service

President Trump used Twitter today to attack Senator Richard Blumenthal's Vietnam War record; and immediately his bone spurs acted up.

Trump Puts Down 12th Hot Dog on 13th Tee to Tweet Reminder That He’s Not on Vacation

President Donald Trump may be spending seventeen days at a golf course he owns, but he is not on vacation! Repeat: He is NOT on vacation.

Trump Wants Assurances His Subpoeana’s Bigger Than Obama’s Subpoeanas

Trump is okay getting issued a subpoena, as long as his subpoena's is bigger than Obama's subpoenas. Don't believe urban legends.

Trump Asks Congress ‘For a Friend’ If People Can Rage Tweet From Federal Prison

A concerned and beleaguered President Trump sends an urgent letter to Congress asking about tweet privileges for federal prisoners.

Man Can’t Seem to Get Stoned Enough to Find Ann Coulter Funny or Intelligent

Everyone's favorite wicked witch without striped socks, Ann Coulter, recently said during a debate that pot makes you "retarded."

Prospective Immigrant Shows Off Two English Words He Learned Just For Stephen Miller

This prospective Syrian immigrant doesn't speak a lot of English just yet, but he speaks just enough for his point to come shining through.

Oscar the Grouch’s Fat, Orange, Racist Cousin Calls His Trash Can a ‘Real White House’

TV's beloved Oscar the Grouch gets a visit from his racist, xenophobic, orange cousin who tells him his trashcan is a White House.

Trump Seeks Putin’s Input on When He Should Sign Russia Sanctions Bill

With an overwhelmingly bipartisan sanctions bill just lingering on his desk, President Trump explains he needs input from a good friend.