Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Emmy Producers on Spicer Cameo: All Other Literal Sacks of Lying Shit Had Previous Engagements

The Emmy producers are telling the media this morning that Sean Spicer got a cameo because everyone else in his industry had previous engagements.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Woman Finds Copy of Hillary’s Hit List Stuffed Into Copy of “What Happened”

Hillary Clinton's book, "What Happened," is supposed to give us all answers, but did a woman just find more than that stuffed in her copy?
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Blames Hurricane Charity Check Delay On Not Doing Any Fundraisers For Cancer Kids Recently

Even though no one has seen the million dollar donation that Trump promised to make, Trump says it's coming. He just has to rob some cancer kids first.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

School Shooting Victim’s Mother Asks Trump If His Travel Ban Would’ve Kept Her Daughter Alive

Her daughter was cut down by a gunman's bullet in a school shooting earlier this year, and now this woman wants answers from Trump.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ted Nugent Offers to Teach Jemele Hill How to be Respectful of Presidents

Alleged talented musician Ted Nugent knows a thing or two about criticizing presidents he disagrees with, but he always does it with respect.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ann Coulter’s Head Literally Explodes As Schumer and Pelosi ‘Cuck’ Trump Supporters on DACA Deal

After her beloved orange savior met and made a deal with the enemy last night, Ann Coulter has literally lost her head over it.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ted Cruz Single-Handedly Ruins Porn for Everyone

When Ted Cruz liked a pornographic tweet from his official Twitter account this week, he started a mini-scandal, but did he also ruin porn forever?
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

National Weather Administration Will Rename Next Hurricane “Sherman”

After Harvey, Irma, and Jose all dissipate, a weather agency will rename the next hurricane to hit the region "Hurricane Sherman."
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

DNC Promises to Ram Hillary Clinton Book Onto Retailer Shelves Whether They Want It or Not

Hey did you know Hillary Clinton has a new book out? No? Well, don't worry. The DNC has promised to make sure you get a copy even if you don't want one.
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Demands Mexico Change Hurricane Jose Name to “Joe”

President Donald Trump sent a sternly worded telegram to the Mexican president demanding an immediate name change for Hurricane Jose.
James Schlarmann -
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