Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

God Tells Pat Robertson: No One Respects Trump ‘So Shut Up You Doddering Douche’

Televangelist Pat Robertson believes God punished America for disrespecting Trump by allowing the Las Vegas shooting to happen. God disagrees.

Trumper Confused Where Paddock Got His Guns From Since Obama Took Them All

Las Vegas shooter Stephen Paddock had an arsenal at his disposal. But one right-wing podcaster thinks Barack Obama might be to be blame.

Republican Unsure He Should Be Proud His Policies Enabled ‘Libtard Cuck Killer’ Stephen Paddock

Stephen Paddock, the shooter in the Las Vegas massacre, was able to obtain his firearms thanks in part to policies advocated by the GOP for years.

Open Carry Activist Shoots Himself, Stops Potential Shooting Incident

An advocate of open carry gun laws tells a harrowing story of stopping a potentially dangerous shooter all by himself.

Wayne LaPierre: ‘What Happened in Vegas Should Stay In Vegas and Not Be Talked About Anywhere Else, Ever Again’

The NRA's top spokesman, Wayne LaPierre, admonishes Americans to not think about doing anything rash in the wake of the Las Vegas shooting.

Trump Blames Vegas Shooting On Obama Not Confiscating Shooter’s Guns

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Moments after addressing the nation in the wake...

Trump Supporter Confused Why “Travel” Ban Didn’t Prevent Las Vegas Act of Terror

After the deadliest mass shooting in American history in Las Vegas, one right-winger is very confused about it's implications for Trump's travel ban.

Puerto Rican Boy Hopes Big Bowl of Trump’s Anti-NFL Tweets Will Keep Belly Full a Couple Weeks

This boy who is living with his family in hurricane ravaged Puerto Rico hopes he can sustain himself on a diet of angry NFL tweets.

Trump Cabinet Races Taxpayer Funded Gold Plated Jet Around Lower 48 States ‘For Shits and Giggles’

The Trump Cabinet just loves to fly big jets all over the country at the taxpayer's expense. Now they're racing a big gold jet for fun.

Trump Says He Regrets Never Convincing Hugh Hefner to Put Ivanka in His Magazine

President Donald Trump gave Hugh Hefner an impromptu eulogy and spoke about what he feels like is a missed opportunity for himself and Playboy.