Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Jeff Sessions Hits a Jay Because He’s ‘Super Duper Freaking Out’ Before His Senate Testimony

Before Attorney General Jeff Sessions goes before the Senate in an open hearing, he needs a little herbal relaxation to calm the situation.

Megyn Kelly Announces She’ll Follow Alex Jones Interview by Asking Questions of Literal Piece of Shit

Former Fox host Megyn Kelly interviewed Alex Jones recently, and now she has her sites set on someone very similar for her next interview.

The President Wants To Turn The White House Lawn Into A Trump Branded Golf Course

President Trump believes he can kill two birdies with one stone, and have the front lawn of the White House turned into his personal golf course.

As Melania Moves In, White House Staff Hurriedly Moves First Lady’s Things From Master Bedroom

With his wife Melania moving into the White House, President Trump needed the staff to get his First Lady's personal things out of the master bedroom.

Democrats Ask Trump If He’d Like to Call For a Snap Election Now Too

After seeing Theresa May flounder in the election she called for in the UK, Democrats here in the states want to see if Trump will do the same.

Richard Nixon Sends His Articles of Impeachment to Paul Ryan ‘To Save Some Time’

Talks of impeachment may not be bubbling up on the GOP side of the aisle, but Dick Nixon thinks they should, and he's trying to speed the process up.

John McCain Still In His Seat Babbling Incoherently 24 Hours After Comey Finished Testifying

Senator John McCain was still rambling and babbling this morning when cleaning crews found him in the same committee hearing room he was in yesterday.

Trump Orders Spicer to Remove James Comey from White House Microwave’s Speed Dial

After his explosive testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee, James Comey has been removed from the White House microwave speed-dial.

Trump’s Tweeting Fingers Shaking Uncontrollably While He Watches Comey Testimony

Reports from the White House indicate that President Trump is having tremendous difficulty keeping himself from tweeting while James Comey testifies.

While Slob-Knobbing Trump’s Stump Hannity Says No Issue With Donald Demanding Comey’s Loyalty

Fox News host Sean Hannity sees absolutely no problem with President Trump demanding fealty from former FBI Director James Comey.