Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Trump Explains the Witch Hunt Against His Son on the Back of Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate

President Trump is reportedly fuming mad at the media's insistence that they cover the most powerful family in the world accurately.

President Trump Lets First Lady Rest Her Finger on Big Red Button While He Takes a Leak

President Trump was in need of a bathroom break, so he asked his First Lady to cover for him while he was in the little handed boys room.

Hillary Spotted in NYC, Circling Donald Trump Jr.’s Building & Shouting ‘But HIS Emails!’

As news broke of his own email problems, Hillary Clinton circled Donald Trump Jr.'s block to mock him over them.

Tiffany Trump Files Paperwork to Become “Tiffany Not-Trump”

For Tiffany Trump, her father's presidential administration has caused nothing but headaches. It's time for a change.

President Trump Calls Donald Trump Jr. ‘Fake News’

After the latest bombshell report in The New York Times, the president wants to distance himself from Donald Trump Jr., his son.

Trump to Start Anti-Farting Task Force With Bush’s Baked Beans

Politics makes for strange bedfellows. Just ask Trump, Putin, or Bush's Baked Beans.

Donald Trump Jr.: ‘I Didn’t Collude With Russians; I TRIED to Collude With Them’

If you ask Donald Trump Jr., he'll tell you that trying to commit a crime and committing a crime are totally separate and unrelated incidents.

Angry Trump Supporter Threatens NPR Reporter Who Quoted President Trump’s Inaugural Address

When an NPR reporter started quoting from Trump's inaugural address, things got awkward for one of his most ardent supporters.

Hannity Says He’s ‘Adjusting’ to Tweeting With One Hand on Phone, the Other on Trump’s Dick

On his radio show, Fox News host Sean Hannity explained that he's had to make some adjustments to being one of Trump's pets in the media.

Hobby Lobby Offers to Give Female Employees Nazi Gold For Birth Control

Members of the Hobby Lobby executive board want to save face with the public and kill two birds with one stone in the process.