Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Wants Obamacare Subsidies to Pay for Trips to Mar-A-Lago

"In times of great need, sometimes we all have to sacrifice. And by 'we all' I of course mean the plebs."

Study Shows 92% of Trump Supporters Have Larger Shoe Size Than IQ

"If they said they were voting for Trump and we measured their shoe size, it always came back higher than their IQ."

White House Issues Hasty, Blanket Denial After Ivanka Tweets #MeToo

"All this negative covfefe of his relationship with his daughter is a distraction..."

With Tom Marino Out, Trump Taps El Chapo for Drug Czar

"Let's stop acting surprised every time I do something stupid."

I Don’t Want to Kill Gays Literally, Only Legally and Metaphorically by VP Mike Pence

"No matter how tempting it would be to live our lives as if 2017 years haven't passed since the Bible Times and now, we can't."

Jeff Sessions Admits He’s a Member Of the Keebler Klux Klan

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The nation's capital is abuzz with rampant rumor...

Trumper With Brain Cancer Losing Obamacare Subsidy’s Last Words: “At Least Obamacare Died Too”

"Why should some rich guy pay for my medicine just because he's already hiding billions of dollars from the rest of us in offshore accounts?"

Foodie Francis Presents Tales Of FoodErotica – The Next Level in #Foodporn

"Don’t you want to have sex with this food? Doesn’t that look hot?"