Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Congressional Democrat Worries About Alabama’s ‘Sanctuary Cities for Pedophiles’

"If these allegations are true, it means that at least one city in Alabama has been harboring a pedophile."

Roy Moore: “It Was Just Locker Room Sexual Predation!”

"I was just following our party's leader, decades and decades before I even knew who he was."

Brief Moment Of Confusion As Obama Accidentally Checks In For Jury Duty With Kenyan ID Card

"This ID card says it's issued by the government of Kenya, sir."

Company Recalls Tammy Lahren Sex Doll Because Its Mouth Never Stops Moving

"Your doll can only bite so many rednecks' dicks off before you have to do something about it."

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Blames Obama’s ‘Residual Sharia Voodoo’ For Republicans Losing Big In Virginia

"Frankly I'm disgusted The New York Times isn't asking former President Obama whether his Sharia Voodoo had a hand in Gillespie losing."

California Medical Marijuana Grower Releases New Strain Named After Jeff Sessions

"We are quite excited about what the weed community will think of it."

Kellyanne Conway: Gillespie Loss in Virginia An Alternative Win for Trump

"We see this as not a defeat, but an alternative win."