Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

NRA Spokesman Says America Needs Armed Clergy in Every Church

"The last thing this country needs to do is witness two senseless gun-related mass murders in less than a month and get the feeling like they can actually do something about them."

Mexico Asks Trump to Pay for Northern Border Wall to Keep American Mass Shooters Out

"When the United States issues guns, it's not giving them to their best."

Texas Republican Furious Trump’s Muslim Ban Failed to Stop Church Shooting

"We was told that the Muslim Ban would stop terrorism."

Obama’s Anxiety at Peak Levels Having Not Grabbed a Single Gun All Year

"Every day I go without confiscating some law-abiding, God-fearing, ammo-hoarding, clean American patriot's gun is a day in Hell for me!"

Trump Thinks Black Athletes ‘Pose a Bigger Threat to American Security Than Nazis’

"Certain members of my base are really off-put by what black people do in general."

Corker Says He’s ‘Not a Fan of the Taste of Trump’s Dick’ Anymore

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The war of words between two very powerful...

Trump Taps Dr. Jenny McCarthy for White House Special Counsel on Alternative Facts

"We need people making alternatively informed decisions for themselves."

Mexico Offers To Pay For Pest Control Service To Remove ‘La Cucaracha Naranja Gigante’ From The White House

"Your apricot-tinged president's proposal for Mexico to pay for his unnecessary and ineffective border wall has been and will continue to be rejected."