Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

AUDIO: Podcasting Birther Says Mueller Russia Probe Is “All Made Up Lies”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing blogger and Internet comments section...

Trump Orders White House Crew to Downsize Big Red Button For His Fingers

Engineers are busy in the White House downsizing the big red button that presidents use to launch nuclear strikes to something for suited to Trump.

Flustered Mike Pence Keeps Writing “1817” On All His Checks And Social Policy Initiatives

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Mike Pence is like any other...

Typing “Go Fuck Yourself” On Facebook Now Unleashes A Stream Of Cute Little Animated Dildos

SILICON VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Social media giant Facebook is constantly trying...

Black Man Tying Shoes Sends Tammy Lahren Into Rage-Induced Coma

DULLARD, TEXAS -- Representatives for right-wing firebrand conservative commentator Tabasco Lahren...

Local Holocaust Denier Outraged To Find Out Trump’s A Climate Denier Too

MINE CAMP, WEST VIRGINIA -- Chad Skeeter is a 37 year...

Putin Dictates Trump’s New Year’s Resolutions To Him

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Today, Russian President Vladimir Putin made a phone...